Obama and Kerry have wisely shut the hell up about Syria. No more talk of shelling the place, no more lip service to the atrocities taking place daily there, no more nothing. It’s as if the benighted land no longer exists (say…no, never mind). We’ve even withdrawn the USS Nimitz, as the Russian fleet has arrived.
What was that all about, anyway? We know Bashar Assad is a chinless meanie (with a hot wife, it must be said, and is said, tirelessly, be me), but what about the other guys? Whose side were we on?
Ladies and gentlemen, our men in Aleppo:
Al-Qaeda’s main branch in Syria, the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL), has raided a wedding party in the suburb of Aleppo and ordered that music and singing be stopped, Al Arabiya reports, citing the Asharq al-Awsat newspaper.
“One leader of the Islamic State warned residents that if a music band is invited to a wedding again, the person responsible will be arrested because this is immoral,” the newspaper reported, citing an internet page belonging to Syrian activists.
The Al-Qaeda leader reportedly asked the man in charge of the wedding to memorize a verse of the Quran and attend several religious courses at Al-Qaeda’s center in Maskana, near Aleppo.
Recently, Al-Qaeda affiliated jihadist rebel groups in Syria warned citizens against “hurting the dignity” of the prophet Muhammad, threatening those who do so with execution.
One horrific atrocity carried out by members of Islamist Syrian rebel groups was the public beheading of a Catholic priest who was accused of collaborating with Assad’s regime.
Some of the Islamist groups have attempted to soften their image in an attempt to win hearts and minds – holding stand up comedy shows and handing out toys to local children.
Stand-up sharia—what would that look like?
I’ll spare you the video:
The highlight of one show that was posted on the internet was a boy with special needs who was asked to say aloud a word which is difficult to pronounce. His repeating the word without success led to bursts of laughter from the audience and the senior commanders.
But perhaps our Allah-ist allies could use a primer on club comedy. Allow us:
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen—at least I think those are ladies under that burlap. Danny DeVito, is that you in a potato sack? Hervé Villechaize lives! Oh, sorry ma’am. It was the full goatee that threw me. I’ll recite a verse of the Quran later in penance.
Do we have any Christians in the audience? Raise your heads… there you go jihadis—lop away! Just kidding! Lighten up, Jesus-freaks, don’t lose your heads. Yet! We love Isa in Islam, along with many other minor prophets. Ibrahim, Musa, Yusuf… Mr. Whipple.
Any Jews here? No…? I’m not surprised. The sign at the front door reads “The management reserves the right to allow entry to anyone it judges to be inebriated, improperly dressed, or descended from simian or porcine forebears. NINA: No Israelis Need Arrive. Besides, the chairs here are very uncomfortable if you have a pointed tail.
See, Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant? Easy.
PS: Next time you want to use a “disabled” person in your act, how about more like this?