Archive for Michelle Obama

Folks Playing Golf

Maybe I’m just bitter because our golf courses are under eight feet of snow:

President Barack Obama has moved his golf game to a private California course owned by a billionaire.

Obama was playing Sunday at Porcupine Creek in Rancho Mirage. The owner is Oracle software company co-founder Larry Ellison.

Ellison ranks third on the latest Forbes list of the 400 richest Americans, with a net worth of $50 billion.

The White House says Obama’s golfing group includes three childhood friends from Hawaii who are regular golf companions when the president is on the West Coast.

Obama is spending the holiday weekend in Southern California without his wife and daughters.

He is scheduled to return to the White House on Monday evening.

Don’t rush, sir. ISIS isn’t going anywhere.


One Nation, Under Obama, Racist, With Justice4Trayvon

Boy, Obama must really worried about the collapse of ObamaCare, the backlash against amnesty, the creeping IRS scandal, and all the other chickens coming home to roost.

He’s talking about racism again (still):

“There’s no black male my age, who’s a professional, who hasn’t come out of a restaurant and is waiting for their car and somebody didn’t hand them their car keys,” said the president, adding that, yes, it had happened to him.

Mrs. Obama recalled another incident: “He was wearing a tuxedo at a black-tie dinner, and somebody asked him to get coffee.”

Was it Bill Clinton?

But it gets worse. Michelle:

“I tell this story – I mean, even as the first lady – during that wonderfully publicized trip I took to Target, not highly disguised, the only person who came up to me in the store was a woman who asked me to help her take something off a shelf. Because she didn’t see me as the first lady, she saw me as someone who could help her. Those kinds of things happen in life. So it isn’t anything new.”

Neither is her story:

Letterman held up a photo of Mrs. Obama shopping at Target in low-key garb.

“That’s my Target run. I went to Target,” she said. “I thought I was undercover. I have to tell you something about this trip though. No one knew that was me because a woman actually walked up to me, right? I was in the detergent aisle, and she said — I kid you not — she said, ‘Excuse me, I just have to ask you something,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, cover’s blown.’ She said, ‘Can you reach on that shelf and hand me the detergent?’ I kid you not.”

As the audience laughed, she went on, “And the only thing she said — I reached up, ’cause she was short, and I reached up, pulled it down — she said, ‘Well, you didn’t have to make it look so easy.’ That was my interaction. I felt so good. … She had no idea who I was. I thought, as soon as she walked up — I was with my assistant, and I said, ‘This is it, it’s over. We’re going to have to leave.’ She just needed the detergent.”

A short woman asking a statuesque black woman (FLOTUS in disguise) for help reaching the detergent on the top shelf is racist? Even when the interaction made her feel “so good”? “She didn’t see me as the first lady, she saw me as someone who could help her. Those kinds of things happen in life.”

If this racism follies was a Broadway tryout it would close in New Haven.

And just as for honesty’s sake, can we acknowledge that Mrs. Obama didn’t go to Target accompanied by only an assistant (and a photographer). The stock clerk in the next aisle wore sunglasses and had a bulge under his smock (Hi, My Name is Smith & Wesson!). The puny lady with the dirty laundry couldn’t have gotten with twenty feet Michelle without four sniper scopes being trained on her left temple.

Seriously, if there is anyone trading on the deaths of those lamentably late lawbreakers, Michael Brown and Eric Garner, more than Al Sharpton, it is the First Family. With Eric Holder close at hand.

Sorry about getting your a** kicked in the midterms. But it’s not personal; it’s strictly business.

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My Dinner With Barry

Working Title: Hope, Grope & Smoking Dope

It has just been announced that a new film, Southside With You, will tell the story of the very first date Barack and Michelle Obama took back in 1989.

And while the role of Michelle has been cast in the independent feature, it is still not certain who will be playing a young Barack.

Today’s Barack would be easy to cast. Keep your calendar open, would ya Morgan?

Tiki Sumpter, best known for her roles on the television shows Gossip Girl and The Haves and the Have Nots, as well as films such as Get On Up, has landed the role of Michelle, this in addition to penning the screenplay.

Sumpter wrote the script with Richard Tanne, who will direct the picture.

Ladies and gentlemen, the First Lady of the United States:

I wish!

But back to the young Barack, back to his wild, impetuous Barry years. I wish Richard Pryor were still with us. But who else…?

Jaden Smith?


That sounds like our man.

Definitely our man.

Imagine the sequels! My Big Fat Vegan Wedding, Barry and Michelle’s High (and I do mean high) School Reunion, Young Al Franken(stein), I Am Legend, (Illegal) Alien, Caligula. One could go on.


Can We Impeach the First Lady?

Cause she needs some impeaching:

[T]oday we see virtually no objection to this exchange between radio host Roland Martin and First Lady Michelle Obama:

Martin: So can we, if we go out to the polls, can we say, we have ‘souls to the polls’ on Sunday, can we do ‘soul food after we vote’?

Mrs. Obama: Absolutely, I give everyone full permission to eat some fried chicken after they vote only after—if you haven’t voted…(laughter.)

Martin: Just checking!

Mrs. Obama: You make a good point because I am, I do talk about health. But I think that a good victory for Democrats on Tuesday, you know, should be rewarded with some fried chicken.

What, no watermelon?

Beside the obvious racism, double-standard, hypocrisy, etc. this betrays, I also see the cultural insensitivity of Michelle’s whole health kick itself. Roland Martin is a black man, and he’s practically begging Michelle for her blessing to eat what every fiber of his being is craving: “soul” food. Never mind that she’s the one who jumped to fried chicken, African Americans feel disloyal to her for wanting to eat the food they grew up with, comfort food, chicken soup for their “souls”.

In the Nixon administration, Earl Butz had to resign after saying all black people wanted were (speaking euphemistically) good sex, comfortable shoes, and a warm place to go to the bathroom. (Who doesn’t?)

Given that standard, at the very least, Mrs. Obama should be suspended from the White House for two weeks.

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My Great Friend, Whatshisface

Braley, Bailey, who gives a crap?

It’s been a rough campaign for Rep. Bruce Braley (D), who is running for the U.S. Senate in Iowa. It got a bit worse Friday when first lady Michelle Obama campaigned for him.

First, she called him “Bruce Bailey.” (Bill Clinton also recently made the same mistake.) Then she said he was a Marine Corps veteran. (He’s not.)

His dad was, though! So close, Mrs. Obama. We thank Mr. Bailey…er, Braley for his service.

She got the name wrong not once, not twice, not—oh hell, seven times! Seven. The crowd had to correct her. The poor woman needs some brain food. May we suggest a bacon cheeseburger pizza?

With onions as a vegetable!

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No Graven Images

Are we even allowed to say her name? Or is she just She Who Must Be Obeyed?

A Wisconsin reporter says he was blocked Tuesday from covering a Democratic rally in Madison headlined by first lady Michelle Obama — a week after another reporter claimed she was told at a similar event in Milwaukee not to speak with people in the crowd.

The latest incident has raised concerns from free press groups.

The reporter, Adam Tobias, works for Wisconsin Reporter — the Wisconsin arm of the news site He was trying to attend a rally for Democratic gubernatorial candidate Mary Burke and claimed to have submitted his request for credentials on Saturday, “shortly after the Burke campaign sent a news release outlining the logistics.”

But the reporter was told he could not attend, and videotaped his encounter with a spokeswoman for the state Democratic Party on Monday.

Spokeswoman Melissa Baldauff initially did not give a reason for denying entry to Tobias. But when the reporter told her they would write a story on press being turned away, she suggested was not part of the press.

“Well, you’re not the press though, so, thanks,” Baldauff said, closing the door.

Ooh, she sure told you! What’s one step below the “press”? Maggots? Scum? Fungus?

Any reporter not leashed and muzzled:

Franklin Center President Jason Stverak blasted the state party for preventing the site from covering Tuesday’s rally — one of two Michelle Obama was headlining for Democratic candidates.

“The problem with our political process is a lack of transparency, and the most recent move by the Democratic Party of Wisconsin is an affront to free speech and the freedom of the press,” he said in a statement. “Having said that, I think we understand what’s at work here: Wisconsin Reporter has broken some of the most important stories in the state, not all of them comfortable for the Democratic Party leadership. We will continue to report the truth, and we won’t be deterred by petty, partisan politics.”

According to, free press groups voiced concern about the decision. “It seems to me that Wisconsin Reporter ought to be able to attend the event and report on it,” Mark Pitsch, president of the local chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, said.

Wisconsin has some of the farthest Left Leftists, and the farther Left you go, the more fascist you become. Don’t take my word for it—just look at the behavior of the Wisconsin Democrat Party.

PS: Michelle was not speaking on the virtues of kale; she was making a very partisan appearance. Her role was political, not private.

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What Are We Worried About?

ISIS at the border? Ebola across it? Obama’s got this.


President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama observed their 22nd wedding anniversary a day late with a celebratory dinner Saturday night in the city’s Georgetown neighborhood.

For their anniversary dinner they picked Bourbon Steak at the Four Seasons Hotel, about a six-minute drive from the White House.

Shortly after Obama arrived at the restaurant, more than 100 protesters calling for justice for Michael Brown, the shooting victim in Ferguson, Missouri, marched down M Street in what appeared to be a previously planned demonstration.

Before their date, the president spent four hours playing golf at Andrews Air Force Base.

I don’t begrudge them their dinner. But yet another round of golf? Half a working day spent farting around with the same cast of low-level admin hacks whose only favorable trait is they let the boss win?

When a Liberian national is catapulting his toxic macaroons in the parking lot? When another ISIS victim loses his noggin in a very slow and deliberate manner?


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Shut Up, She Explained

Obama didn’t call the Constitution a “charter of negative liberties” for nothing!

A veteran reporter for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel said Monday she was prevented from talking to the crowd during an event at which First Lady Michelle Obama spoke.

Michelle was appearing Monday on behalf of Wisconsin Democratic gubernatorial candidate Mary Burke.

The reporter, Meg Kissinger, said she was “creeped out” by the Orwellian encounter with officials from the White House and the Burke campaign. She posted her frustration on her Facebook page:



At the Burke event, a number of people in the crowd were upset about a lack of seating. Several people, including a woman using two canes, complained that she had nowhere to sit.

Reporters and photographers were cordoned off in a central area with chairs and tables. Several people in the crowd asked if they could have extra chairs reserved for the media — but reporters were initially forbidden from handing them over. Eventually, some of the Burke staff gave the extra chairs to attendees.

Burke and White House staff also told reporters not to talk to people in the crowd before the event.

Burke supporters interviewed after the event said they were focused on the message of the day.

Don’t talk to people. Don’t hand ‘em empty chairs. At a campaign appearance! This wasn’t Malia’s birthday party. It was a partisan campaign appearance. Dems have been after Michelle to get out on the trail. This must be her price.


Not Fearing the Hashtag

Those leaked pictures of Obama working out were doubtless meant to terrify terrorists around the world. No more Mr. Nice Guy. From Community Organizer Man to the Ass Kicker.

The results are in:

Supporters of the Islamic extremist group ransacking Iraq were seen mocking the White House’s hashtag diplomacy with #bringbackourhumvee tweets early this morning.

Middle East and North America photo manager for the Agence France-Presse Patrick Baz said in a tweet that he had seen the #bringbackourhumvee meme on websites and twitter accounts supporting terrorist group Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS).

The hashtag is a play on the #bringbackourgirls campaign to rescue the 276 Nigerian girls being held captive in Nigeria by Islamic militant group Boko Haram.

The Nigerian girls never were rescued despite high profile displays of support for military intervention from the first lady and celebrities like Amy Poehler.

That’s how hardened and depraved these savages are. They are immune to the charms of Amy Poehler.

She looks pissed. Once you’ve lost Hollywood, Boko Haram, you’re days are numbered. I hear Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg are in development on a script. See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.

Really, Hugh? That might be the funniest pose you’ve ever taken. Well, second funniest:


Why is This Woman Frowning?

Wouldn’t you with this news?

In a testy exchange during a Senate hearing Thursday, a Defense Department official repeatedly told Sen. Robert Menendez that the U.S. government couldn’t say whether Nigerian forces are prepared to rescue more than 300 girls who were kidnapped in the country last month.

The situation in Nigeria, [Alice] Friend admitted earlier in her testimony, is a mess. The military there is poorly trained, poorly equipped, and so afraid of an increasingly brutal Boko Haram that its members are reluctant and perhaps incapable of taking on the terrorist organization. The military had been kept for decades at a low level of capability, Friend said, because of fears by the country’s government about a possible military coup. Those concerns are no longer an issue in Nigeria, Friend added, but the weakness of the military there remains a dangerous reality.

Even worse, perhaps, is a growing fear within the ranks of the Nigerian military of taking on Boko Haram. “They don’t have the capabilities, the training, or the [equipment] that Boko Haram does. And Boko Haram is exceptionally brutal and indiscriminate in their attacks,” Friend said. “So we are now looking at a military force that’s, quite frankly, becoming afraid to even engage.”

The Defense Department’s efforts to train Nigerian military officials have been crippled by a U.S. law passed in 1997 to combat human-rights abuses. The Nigerian military has at times responded to aggression from Boko Haram with their own human-rights violations. Because the Leahy Law, as it’s known, prevents the U.S. military from assisting any foreign military that has committed human-rights abuses, the Defense Department is having difficulty find a unit that it can legally help.

Wait, this is too rich. One dumbass appeal to emotion (#bringbackmybonnietome) is being stymied by the consequences of previous dumbass appeal to emotion (the Leahy law)—both from liberal Democrats? It would take a heart of stone not to laugh. If you listen to the human rights pantywaists, America and Israel are the greatest violators of human rights since Caligula and Genghis Khan. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

For now, the U.S. is focused on finding the kidnapped girls. Reports indicate that they may have been separated and possibly taken to neighboring Cameroon, Niger, or Chad.

Has anyone here
Seen my 300 schoolgirls?
Can you tell me where they’ve gone?
Boko seized a lot of people,
And they’ve become brides young
In Cameroon, Niger and Chad.

I say we find the plane (what plane?) before we find the girls. Anyone wanna bet?

PS: I mentioned that this whole hashtag thing was begging for parody, which had yet to appear. Oh boy, now has it ever. Here are a couple of PG-rated (the tiniest minority, I assure you):


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Michelle Obama says she and Barack are “outraged” at the kidnapping (and presumed enslavement) of the Nigerian girls. They just handle it differently.


In this week’s address, First Lady Michelle Obama honored all mothers on this upcoming Mother’s Day and offered her thoughts, prayers and support in the wake of the unconscionable terrorist kidnapping of more than 200 Nigerian girls.


It’s the usual Saturday golf. President Obama and three White House aides – usual type players – arrived at the Joint Andrews course shortly after noon.

It’s the president’s 12th time out this year and the 169th round of his presidential golfing career.

So, while Michelle was pouring her heart out for the girls, Barack was prowling the greens at Andrews. Almost at the same moment.

Good for him. I find the preening prima donnas in the hashtag and selfie generation insufferably smug. If you’re going to be shallow, Mr. President, plumb the depths of your shallowness.

Is that a shot at Hugh Grant or something? Or maybe at the president’s golf buddy and busted john, Bobby Titcomb?


Michelle Shocked—Shocked!—to Learn Islamists Are Misogynists

And the news has taken her from sadness…

…to outrage:

[T]he first lady said she and her husband are “outraged and heartbroken” by the kidnappings. “In these girls, Barack and I see our own daughters,” she said. “We see their hopes, their dreams – and we can only imagine the anguish their parents are feeling right now.”

“I want you to know that Barack has directed our government to do everything possible to support the Nigerian government’s efforts to find these girls and bring them home.”

“This unconscionable act was committed by a terrorist group determined to keep these girls from getting an education—grown men attempting to snuff out the aspirations of young girls,” she said.

Sound like Dr. Gosnell! But let’s not get distracted.

“We know that girls who are educated make higher wages, lead healthier lives and have healthier families,” the first lady said. “And when more girls attend secondary school, that boosts their country’s entire economy. So education is truly a girl’s best chance for a bright future, not just for herself, but for her family and her nation.”

I think Boko Haram knows that, too, Madame First Lady, which is why they call themselves Boko Haram (“school sucks”). They believe that a girl’s place is not in the classroom, but in the bed (if she’s lucky) of a 70-year-old goatherd with twenty bucks to buy a bride.

“I hope that any young people in America who take school for granted—any young people who are slacking off or thinking of dropping out—I hope they will learn the story of these girls and recommit themselves to their education.”

I guess. I mean, as Animal House’s Dean Wormer would say, fat, dumb, and pregnant is no way to go through life. Here’s hoping, anyway.

I just hope we’re not leading the Nigerians down the primrose path to Aleppo. We told the Syrians that chemical weapons were a red line. And then we got yellow.

So, here’s hoping that the greatest military in the history of the world—a superpower without rival—can offer hope to the mothers and fathers of Nigeria. Though I’m not sure 300 of their daughters is worth the life of one of our sons. (I’m not sure they’re not—I’m just not sure!)

But can we just please leave our egotism and self-regard out of it?

I mean, how far are we from parody, even with this disturbing story?

Not very far:

Though I would embarrass myself and hold up a sign if it would have saved Hadiya Pendleton.

Speaking of “grown men attempting to snuff out the aspirations of young girls”. Can you ask your old man to send the Marines to Hyde Park?

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