Aggie and I don’t need much to get us frothing at our respective mouths—we live in Massachusetts, as the bumper stickers used to say. But there are dead times in the political calendar. Obama hasn’t passed any more signature pieces of legislations that bear his name; no American diplomats have died recently in Arab ass-crack villages; and I can’t remember the last Democrat phallus that was texted to a fetching (though hardly innocent) young thing. Forget Carlos Danger, it’s been Maurice Ennui in the news lately.
Cindy Sheehan for California Governor, 2014, is thrilled to announce that despite the attack from the political establishment in California against alternative political parties and voices, the Sheehan campaign has a combination of enough signatures and donations to qualify for the June primary ballot.
I haven’t been this aroused by a woman since Kate Upton went weightless (which was yesterday, mind you).
“This attack on Democracy has seriously hampered our ability to field candidates who are in opposition to the two parties of greed, war, and the wealthy; but we will never give up or go away. We will continue to fight Prop 14 and work to expand the choices of Californians, not contract them.”
Sheehan continues, [...]
Oh, does she ever! Please do!
Sheehan continues, “I want to also take this opportunity to express my deepest gratitude to those who have volunteered many hours to collect signatures and who have thus far donated money to our campaign. The people who donate are not the wealthy; they are our brothers and sisters who also struggle and for whom this campaign to End Poverty In California would most benefit.
Poverty in California? But some of the richest people in the local cluster of galaxies (Andromeda, Milky Way, Large and Small Magellanic clouds) live in California—and most of them can’t wait to give away our money. Jeffrey Katzenberg, is this true? Barbra Streisand, can this be?
But such quibbling is for another day.
“Then this is a day of independence
For all the Munchkins and their descendants!”
(Not really relevant, but I’ve always loved the line.)
She’s going to close prisons and open universities—for no tuition! And she’s pro-sunflower! Can’t lose!
I used to be against ALL wars and the use of violence, but (and I must admit a little confusion on this one, at first) now it seems that I am against wars, acts of war, and violence ONLY if a Republican is president. Now I understand with perfect clarity that it was good to protest Bush—and if the US-UN resolution against Libya was done when Bush was president, it would have been wrong—but now it’s “compassionate.” I must admit, I was a little shocked to find out that the US actually commits compassionate acts and, again, silly me—I thought most acts of war and war were for profit. I realize that only a jerk (or racist) would think that now. I have repented.
Now the skeptical, old and ignorant Cindy Sheehan would have thought that the US was only concerned with the regime in Libya “killing its own citizens” because Libya has large crude oil reserves, but that was before I reflected on the fact that Barack Obama (D) has told us that offshore drilling and nuclear power is safe! Like my new hero, Barack Obama (D) keeps saying, we do need to “reduce” US dependence on “foreign oil,” but not before we kill as many people as we must to get all of that oil. The old me also would have thought that we needed to entirely eliminate our dependence on petroleum and petroleum products all together, but if Barack Obama (D) says it’s safe, that’s good enough for me!
So many other people have faded from the world stage. (Who remembers Hans Blix? Who wants to?) But Cindy has staying power.
In Obama I trust. What a relief! Having a conscience is very isolating.
Let’s Party with a capital D because if I can CHANGE, then there is HOPE for everyone and anyone else who are still lost wandering nearly alone in that wilderness of integrity.
War is Peace!
Freedom is Slavery!
Ignorance is Strength.
2 + 2=5
You know those pennies you were saving for UNICEF or those socks you were going to give to the Oxfam thrift shop? Toss ‘em. Burn ‘em. And write a big ol’ fat check (as Michelle Obama would say—she would also say: “Max out”) to Cindy Sheehan.