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This morning, the Pioneer Press created some waves by calling President Obama an “assclown.”

The off-color remark came in the context of the PiPress’s “Loop Ten” feature, which is a slideshow that serves as sports producer Kevin Cusick’s “daily countdown of the top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers.”

Clocking in at a tie for number three in today’s installment was “selfies.” That entry is accompanied by an image of Obama holding a selfie stick in an apparent effort to take a photo of himself.

That’s all well and good, but where Cusick got himself in trouble was with the text below the image.

“A fool-proof way to make yourself look like a self-absorbed assclown,” it said.

“After further review, it’s a poor choice of word,” he replied in an email. “I must have been in an especially foul mood last night. I’ve toned it down a bit.”

Indeed, the caption has now been edited to read, “A fool-proof way to make yourself look like a self-absorbed celebrity.”

But assclown was perfect, Pulitzer-worthy!

Bret Stephens:

Ostensibly, the point of the video was to alert BuzzFeed’s audience to the Feb. 15 deadline for ObamaCare enrollment. If communicating with 20-somethings as if they are 11-year-olds is a way to get them to behave like grown-ups, then maybe the White House has at last found a way to make good on its make-believe enrollment numbers.

“Can I live?” the president says when caught shooting imaginary hoops in his study by a young visitor. “You do you,” the visitor gamely replies before walking off.

Yes, you do you, Barry: It’s what your political career has always been about, from your myth-memoir “Dreams From My Father” to your well-nurtured cult of personality to the coterie of flatterers with whom you have surrounded yourself in office to the supine and occasionally complicit news media that have seen you through six years of crisis, failure and scandal.

In other word: assclown.

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Mirror, Mirror

Who’s the biggest schmuck of all?

The President of the United States is willing to do just about anything to promote his signature health care law, and that includes wielding a selfie stick and dropping a “YOLO, man,” on camera.

In a renewed effort to get Americans to sign up for healthcare.gov before the Sunday deadline, President Barack Obama brought out his selfie stick in a video for BuzzFeed Motion Pictures.

The video published on Thursday features Obama and BuzzFeed’s Andrew Ilnyckyj doing “things everybody does but doesn’t talk about.”

Obama and Ilnyckyj practice their funny faces in the mirror, pose with selfie sticks, miming jump shots, and repeat weird words like “February” and “Wednesday” over and over.

At one point, he drops his coffee, exasperatingly saying, “Thanks, Obama.”

The President echoes the catchphrase when trying to dunk his too-big chocolate chip cookie into a glass of milk.

The guy’s name is Ilnyckyj? Who’s his cousin, Qwertyuiop?

What an embarrassment.

00—Licensed to shill.

PS: Others have noted that he was farting around about the same time Kayla Mueller was reported murdered. I wonder if he was wearing golf cleats at the time?

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In Other Words

Yesterday, we congratulated the WSJ’s Bret Stevens for his description of the current president as a “peevish and callow potentate”. That’s a lot classier than our usual fare of “doofus” and “a-hole”.

But sometimes an a-hole is just an a-hole:

President Obama was shocked and irritated by Mitt Romney’s concession call in the 2012 presidential election — and claimed Romney insinuated that Obama won only by getting out the black vote, according to a new book by presidential campaign strategist David Axelrod.

Obama was “unsmiling during the call, and slightly irritated when it was over,” Axelrod writes.

The president hung up and said Romney admitted he was surprised at his own loss, Axelrod wrote.

“‘You really did a great job of getting the vote out in places like Cleveland and Milwaukee,’ in other words, black people,'” Obama said, paraphrasing Romney. “That’s what he thinks this was all about.”

Romney conceded his defeat, and Obama was irritated? [Bleep] him.

“In other words, black people.” No, those are your words, not Romney’s. Bogus accusations of racism may be worse than racism itself. Racism is universally condemned; accusations, founded or not, stain uniformly and eternally.

But let’s look at the evidence.

Ohio:

According to Secretary of State Jon Husted’s website, President Obama won the popular vote in Ohio with 50.67% of the vote over Mitt Romney in second place at 47.69%, a Democratic victory margin of 2.98%.

President Obama still wins Ohio by over 166,000 votes.

What about Cleveland?

Cuyahoga Country — Obama 420,953; Romney 184,475

Obama won Ohio, a key swing state, in Cleveland alone. So Romney was right.

What about Wisconsin?

When all ballots were counted, Obama won 52.83% of the vote to Romney’s 45.89%, a 6.94% margin of victory.

Popular vote 1,620,985 — 1,407,966

That’s not as close, but Wisconsin was still considered a swing state, not least because Paul Ryan, the Republican VP candidate, hails from there.

And Milwaukee?

Milwaukee County — Obama 332,438; Romney 154,924

Hey, that’s not enough to account for the victory! You lie, Romney!

Oh wait.

Dane County — Obama 216,071; Romney 83,644

That’s Madison, as moonbat a community as there is. So, between Milwaukee and Madison, left-wing bastions, Obama more than made up for Romney’s strength in much of the rest of the state.

Elections have results: Obama won. But he won exactly the way Romney said he did: by getting out the vote in his strongholds.

Elections also have consequences (as Aggie reminds us): this peevish, callow potentate—doofus, a-hole, whatever—is still our president.

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Obama Vindicated!

What was it he said?

This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow.

We all laughed at his messianism and narcissism, but who’s laughing now?

It is an indisputable fact that carbon emissions are rising—and faster than most scientists predicted. But many climate-change alarmists seem to claim that all climate change is worse than expected. This ignores that much of the data are actually encouraging. The latest study from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change found that in the previous 15 years temperatures had risen 0.09 degrees Fahrenheit. The average of all models expected 0.8 degrees. So we’re seeing about 90% less temperature rise than expected.

Facts like this are important because a one-sided focus on worst-case stories is a poor foundation for sound policies. Yes, Arctic sea ice is melting faster than the models expected. But models also predicted that Antarctic sea ice would decrease, yet it is increasing. Yes, sea levels are rising, but the rise is not accelerating—if anything, two recent papers, one by Chinese scientists published in the January 2014 issue of Global and Planetary Change, and the other by U.S. scientists published in the May 2013 issue of Coastal Engineering, have shown a small decline in the rate of sea-level increase.

Go ahead, sir. Do your end-zone dance. You’ve earned it.

But after you’ve caught your breath:

This is important because if we want to help the poor people who are most threatened by natural disasters, we have to recognize that it is less about cutting carbon emissions than it is about pulling them out of poverty.

The best way to see this is to look at the world’s deaths from natural disasters over time. In the Oxford University database for death rates from floods, extreme temperatures, droughts and storms, the average in the first part of last century was more than 13 dead every year per 100,000 people. Since then the death rates have dropped 97% to a new low in the 2010s of 0.38 per 100,000 people.

The dramatic decline is mostly due to economic development that helps nations withstand catastrophes. If you’re rich like Florida, a major hurricane might cause plenty of damage to expensive buildings, but it kills few people and causes a temporary dent in economic output. If a similar hurricane hits a poorer country like the Philippines or Guatemala, it kills many more and can devastate the economy.

In short, climate change is not worse than we thought. Some indicators are worse, but some are better. That doesn’t mean global warming is not a reality or not a problem. It definitely is. But the narrative that the world’s climate is changing from bad to worse is unhelpful alarmism, which prevents us from focusing on smart solutions.

But only so smart. For no one is permitted to be smarter than He.

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Lame Duck or Mighty Mouse?

Long-time Democrat pollster, Pat Cadell, demonstrates the breadth—and the limitations—of his understanding of Barack Obama:

When I watched the State of the Union address at the end when the president talked about how people shouldn’t demonize the other side and how you shouldn’t be fundraising all the time. It dawned on me that this man in his own bizarre world. Look, we’ve had presidents who were competent or incompetent. We’ve had presidents who have been manipulative or open. I have never seen a president occupying himself in his own fantasy world in the twilight zone…

It is a “fantasy world”, but it is also a world built out of the tawdriest of lies—as Cadell himself documents: “people shouldn’t demonize the other side and how you shouldn’t be fundraising all the time”. From Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers and the flag pin to today, he has not only gotten away with lying brazenly, but been cheered on the nightly news for doing so. His serial dishonesty has never ceased to amaze me, but I can’t say it surprises me anymore.

As for the “fantasy world”, wouldn’t you create a fantasy world if the real world were so hostile? The line of people who despise him forms to the right, with the American electorate just behind Vladimir Putin, Angela Merkel, Benjamin Netanyahu, Bill and Hillary, John Boehner, and the Cambridge police officer who arrested Skip Gates. In Obama’s World, he can propose any giveaway he likes, spend as much as he wants, and watch his approval rating rise. Oh wait…

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Barack Hussein Obama III

As heard on Rush Limbaugh:

In an upcoming People magazine interview, Barack and Michelle Obama sit down and discuss life as the First Oppressed Couple of the United States. Hoping to shed light and relate to recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, and New York City, Barack reached into the upstairs White House bedroom of his mind and called upon his famous imaginary son to make an appearance:

The small irritations or indignities that we experience are nothing compared to what a previous generation experienced,” President Obama said. “It’s one thing for me to be mistaken for a waiter at a gala. It’s another thing for my son to be mistaken for a robber and to be handcuffed, or worse, if he happens to be walking down the street and is dressed the way teenagers dress.

Once again, Barack Obama’s imaginary son has found himself unfairly in trouble with the law. If you recall, his imaginary son was also shot by an imaginary neighborhood watch guard in the same style as Trayvon Martin. But Obama’s imaginary son is plucky and resilient and has lived a hard life in the hood so he keeps bouncing back.

In his life, Obama’s imaginary son has been shot at, concussed out of football, and racially profiled. Yet he keeps picking himself up and carrying on. Obama’s imaginary son should be an example to us all. No matter what kind of imaginary circumstances we find ourselves in, we can continue on with our imaginary lives.

We can’t be afraid to have the conversation, no matter how painful it might be, about continuing the racial healing of imaginary people.

Funny. But play-time’s over:

Obama himself has been racially profiled so much in his life that, in order to relate to the struggles in Ferguson, he has to cite an imaginary person out of thin air to prove it. Obama’s American story apparently isn’t overcoming an absent father, being raised by loving grandparents, attending Columbia and Harvard Universities, and becoming President of the United States.

The President of the United States seems more comfortable citing the struggles of his imaginary son than the privileged successes of his real daughters. In truth, Obama’s son would have attended private schools in Chicago, just like his daughters. He would then be attending Sidwell Private School in DC, just like his real daughters. Obama’s imaginary son would get his pick of any college in the world, just like his real daughters. His imaginary son would then go on to any career he chose, in medicine, law, Hollywood, or Wall Street, just like his real daughters. But that doesn’t fit the divisive racial narrative — so his son lives the hard-knock life.

Well, if the son is anything like the old man, he’s smoking more reefer than Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong combined. Kid like that’s bound to get into trouble once or twice.

PS: As I’ve observed before, Sasha and Malia must wonder what they have to do to get half as much attention as the mythical Barack III.

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Why Isn’t This News?

George Bush and Dick Cheney made headlines for calling NY Times reporter, Adam Clymer, a major league a-hole.

This?

Crickets.

According to retired ABC News journalist Ann Compton, Barack Obama launches into “profanity-laced” tirades against the press in off-the-record meetings with reporters. In a C-SPAN interview, Compton also derided the President for leading “the most opaque” administration of “any I have covered.”

The journalist, who retired in August after a 40-year career, revealed to C-SPAN’s Brian Lamb: “I have seen in the last year Barack Obama really angry twice. Both were off-the-record times. One, profanity-laced where he thought the press was making too much of scandals that he did not think were scandals.”

She explained, “And I don’t find him apologetic. But I find him willing to stand up to the press and look them in the eye, even though it was off the record and just give us hell.”

After Lamb wondered if the President had a point, she chided, “We cover what we are allowed to cover. And when policy decisions and presidents are inaccessible and don’t take questions from the press on a regular basis, I think they reap what they sow.”

Earlier in the hour-long C-SPAN interview, which aired on Sunday night, but was recorded in October, Compton slammed the “opaque” administration:

ANN COMPTON: Before I walked out the door on September 10, I was a strong voice for complaining that this particular administration has been more opaque than any I have covered about what the President does in the Oval Office everyday. He is far less accessible on photo-ops with meetings. Even some meetings on the record, meeting in the Roosevelt room with financial leaders from, from Wall Street or on issues with environmental groups, or with issues with environmental groups, with public opinion leaders, I think most presidents have been far more forthcoming than the second Obama term, in terms of what the President is doing every day and we almost never get photo-ops.

She added that it’s fine for the White House to take its own photographs, but “those same elements should not be blocked from the White House press corps.”

Since when does the president get to dictate what is and is not a scandal? And why do these guys cover up for this guy? Especially when he’s such a major league a-hole himself?

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Democrats Piling On

We’ve heard of the open feud between Obama and Harry Reid; Bob Woodward says Democrats tell him how much they hate Obama; senior Democrats have to call MSNBC hosts to find out what Obama is thinking.

But none of them have said this:

PATRICK CADDELL: I just want to say because this man is a raving narcissist. He has absolutely…

SEAN HANNITY: This is your president, Pat. You’re saying he’s a raging narcissist?

CADDELL: He’s a raging narcissist who has no grip on reality. What he’s been doing — he has been doing which is that I’m king and I can rule like king and the Republicans, I have to say, before lay down for him. McCain, Graham, all laid down on the stuff when he did the — here’s the point: now they have to stop it because this will destroy –

Pat Caddell is a Democrat pollster. He helped get Jimmy Carter elected, for God’s sake. But he sounds like me or Aggie (or Buck). And of course he’s right.

I don’t know if Obama will be able to keep it up for two years, but he doesn’t seem cut out for the role of lame duck, much less eunuch. The next six months at least promise to be incendiary.

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“Albatross” is a Dog Whistle

Who’s more racist—the racist DEMOCRAT politicians who don’t want to stand next to TNFBP™ (The Nation’s First Black President), or the racist DEMOCRAT voters who can’t stand anyone who has anything to do with TNFBP™?

JAKE TAPPER: What Democrats told me today is that President Obama, however much they love him, he is an albatross around their necks right now. His poll numbers are so bad, people not feeling good about the state of the economy even if there economic indicators that things are getting better. Wages are stagnant.

This after the crowing and whooping over 248,000 new jobs. Even I, who can find the bad news lurking below even the bubbliest employment numbers, conceded that this was a good jobs report (with some disturbing trends—I’m not stupid).

Obama’s got a theory on that, too:

“Frankly, the press and Washington, all it does is feed cynicism,” he insisted, despite getting six years of favorable coverage from establishment newspapers and TV shows.

“Most of you don’t know the statistics I just gave you,” Obama said, after listing a series of cherry-picked data that ignored that roughly 10 million Americans who have given up looking for work, and the $7 trillion in added debt.

“The reason you don’t know [the favorable data] is because they elicit hope. They’re good news … and that’s not what we hear about,” he declared to the roughly 250 supporters who paid up to $1,000 to attend.

To the list of racist DEMOCRAT politicians, racist DEMOCRAT voters, let us add racist reporters (almost all DEMOCRATS).

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At Sea

I don’t have a problem with Obama sending people to Michael Brown’s funeral. Their level in the administration, and their roles in it, seemed appropriate for what became, for better or worse (mostly worse), a big story.

But there was another death that became a big story, too:

The Obama White House sent three officials to attend Monday’s funeral of slain teenager Michael Brown in Missouri, but sent no one to represent the president when photojournalist James Foley, decapitated by a terrorist on video, was memorialized Sunday in a New Hampshire church.

Foley’s remains haven’t been found, leaving his family to mourn him without the funeral and interment that Roman Catholics believe is an integral part of the end of life.

‘There was nobody that represented the White House,’ church office assistant Connie Hammond told CNS News.

Politicians do funerals; it’s part of the job. Biden had a conflict?

New Hampshire Gov. Maggie Hassan and Rep. Ann Kuster came to the mass, along with both of the state’s U.S. senators, Kelly Ayotte and Jeanne Shaheen – three Democrats among them – according to the Catholic Diocese of Manchester.

Pope Francis sent a message of condolence to the Foley family in a letter read aloud during the service.

‘It’s pretty embarrassing,’ a former White House official told MailOnline, on condition of anonymity.

‘In the last two years the White House has become more and more myopic. When you don’t have to face voters anymore, some politicians let it all hang out. I’m afraid this one is especially prone to that.’

We know what Obama was doing:

The President spent his last day on the Vineyard tucked out of sight in Chilmark where his family had been renting a home overlooking the north shore for the past two weeks.

Not good enough:

CNSNews.com asked the White House why no White House official attended James Foley’s memorial Mass.

“The President expressed his profound condolences to the family in his statement last week,” responded Ned Price, a spokesman for the National Security Council. “He was speaking on behalf of his Administration—as well as the American people—in offering these words to the Foley family, and he continues to keep them in his thoughts as we attempt to bring the other American hostages home.”

Put more simply:

Okay, maybe Biden isn’t whom you send to show your respect. But I don’t care if you don’t like the “optics” of being represented at a service that reflects poorly on American power and prestige. You send someone.

Maybe the Secretary of State.

Although the Instagram user identified the above boat as Kerry’s, it might be impossible to confirm for certain, and it’s also unclear whether Kerry was in fact on the boat when the photo was taken. But the number on the sail does match the number borne by Kerry’s boat in at least one past photo, and the boat itself appears to be the same.

Never mind. Dumb idea.

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Happy Birthday, Mr. President!

How many of us have celebrated our 53rd birthday thusly? How many of us would bother to celebrate our 53rd birthday at all? (I’ll give you one bash a decade, maybe two. But annually? What are you, eight years old?)

Oops! Wrong president and wrong orgy! Kennedy’s was understated by comparison.

The annual extended Obama birthday bash began this morning with a mass landing on the golf course at Joint Base Andrews, where twelve golfers are participating in a Saturday morning outing.

Actually I imagine the festivities began Friday, since everyone seems to already be in town. I noticed that right after his early Friday afternoon press conference Obama exited the West Wing, apparently knocking off work early. I imagine – though I can’t confirm – he was headed to the residence to begin welcoming his guests.

Among those known to be participating in this morning’s golf bonanza are former Obama aide Reggie Love, current White House aide and Obama golf favorite Marvin Nicholson, and timeless friends Greg More, Bobby Titcomb, and Mike Ramos. The assemblage arrived at Andrews at 8:35 am ET.

After golf, the party will move to Camp David, where Obama and his crew will spend the night. Unclear if more celebrants – and maybe some celebrities – are flying in.

The president is not scheduled to return to the White House until 2:55 pm Sunday, no doubt to begin an extended period of recovery. Obama’s actual birthday is Monday.

UPDATE:

Obama and his foursome, which included longtime buddies Greg Orme, Bobby Titcomb, and Mike Ramos, beat two other teams in today’s Obama Birthday Open at the Joint Andrews Base golf course.

This means his friends get to chopper on Marine One with the president to Camp David for Phase II of the birthday celebration. Also aboard are aide Marvin Nicholson and Obama trainer Cornell McClellan.

You only turn 53 once, Mr. President!

PS:

During a press conference at the White House on Friday, Mr. Obama chided reporters for failing to ask if he had birthday plans.

“I thought that you guys were going to ask me how I was going to spend my birthday,” Mr. Obama said. “What happened to the happy birthday thing?”

Finally, April Ryan of National Urban Radio called out to the president, “Happy Birthday.”

“There you go, April,” the president replied. “That’s [what] I’m talking about. Somebody finally wished me happy birthday.”

GAAAACK!!!


Medium light, two sugars.

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Flay of Fish

This is such a complete vivisection of President Obama’s shortcomings, I almost feel sorry for him.

Not even close, actually. Enjoy!

In case you’re wondering why I’m writing about this—well, I am too. A Malaysian jetliner has vanished into thin air, while Russia has completed its seizure of Crimea and may yet invade other parts of Ukraine. Serious stuff, you might say. But the big story of last week as far as the president is concerned is his appearance alongside the star of “The Hangover” movies, the guy who last year smoked a joint live on the Bill Maher show.

Incidentally, I quote these lines from the Us Weekly report of the Seacrest interview. Us magazine is where I go for my political news these days. The online article also had a link to a photo gallery of Mr. Obama hanging out with various celebrities, like Justin Bieber. “What’s up, my dude!” the Canadian teen star says to the president of the United States. “What’s up, Biebs!” the president of the United States answers back.

Just the other day, he was photographed standing by his Oval Office desk, casually dressed in jeans, speaking to Vladimir Putin on the phone. The president had been savaged by Sarah Palin “as one who wears mom jeans and equivocates and bloviates.”

Retorted Mr. Obama: “The truth is, generally I look very sharp in jeans.” The sole exception, he added, “was one episode like four years ago in which I was wearing some loose jeans, mainly because I was out on the pitcher’s mound and I didn’t want to feel confined while I was pitching.”

Even now the unanswered question about Mr. Obama’s personality is whether his insouciance is a mask for ideology, ignorance, or simple indifference. When the president goes before the cameras to announce tough sanctions, and the sanctions are not only not tough but laughably weak, what’s going through his head?

Should he be wearing loose jeans more often so he can feel less confined geopolitically?

Alternatively, the president might consider rearranging his work schedule. Last year came the news that Mr. Obama was unaware of the problems plaguing his health-care website until after its rollout and that he never once had a private meeting with Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius between July 2010 and November 2013. How does something like that happen?

A cavalier foreign policy by an inattentive president that elicits the contempt of the people it intends to punish ultimately encourages their aggression as well.

The less obvious: We need a fat president. Or at least one who rarely thinks and never speaks about how he looks in jeans. And one who doesn’t spend his day testing his wits against a Hollywood stoner or bantering with Ryan Seacrest while a European ally is being pummeled by Russia. And one who would rather spend his time working than working out, even if it means putting on a few pounds. And one who can pitch from the mound and reach home plate. However confined.

Clap-clap-clap.

I’m giving this a standing ovation as I write.

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