Archive for Auntie Zeituni

Get Out Your Handkerchiefs

We allowed her to overstay her visa for decades, turned a blind eye to her illegal contribution to her nephew’s campaign, and even gave her subsidized housing—against express regulations to the contrary. And when she got caught, we excused everything, as if her nephew himself had issued a blanket pardon.

No wonder she’s so sad:

Auntie Zeituni has written a book. It’s called “Tears of Abuse,” on account of how tough she’s had it.

Have I read it? Of course not. Have you read her nephew’s best-seller — Dreams from My Ghostwriter, I mean Father? No one has — it’s sold millions of copies, but until two weeks ago, not a single reader got far enough into it to learn that Obama was a dog-eater with “composite” girlfriends.

Anyway, I have the press release on “Tears of Abuse,” which describes Auntie Zeituni’s journey to the United States “where she faces the unthinkable; failing health and quarantined in a hospital while on vacation in a foreign country.”

Vacation? Surely she meant to say “welfare.”

“As her story unfolds she becomes a resident of (a) homeless shelter and a subject of deportation.”

How dare they! Just because she’s an illegal alien, they want to deport her.

Have they forgotten the immortal words of Marsha Coakley: “Technically it is not illegal to be illegal in Massachusetts.”

And if you don’t believe Marsha, just ask Uncle Omar, Auntie Zeituni’s brother, or half-brother, or whatever. Technically, it is also apparently not illegal to be driving drunk illegally in Massachusetts, at least if you’re an illegal alien.

“Quarantined” in a Massachusetts hospital? How many sick people around the world do you think would choose to be “quarantined” in this mecca for medical care? All of them, give or take, right? And how much, I wonder, did that set her back financially? Was she also under “house arrest” in the subsidized house she somehow received over other candidates, more legal, if not more worthy?

“‘Tears of Abuse’ reveals how this remarkable woman turns the unfathomable into triumph.”

Public housing, on the dole — what else would you call it but a triumph? The inscription at the base of the Statue of Liberty needs to be rewritten. Forget the huddled masses yearning to “breathe free.” Now the huddled masses demand to “live free.”

Speaking of “the homeless, tempest-tost,” Uncle Omar gets his driver’s license back today. I hope nobody at the registry is even thinking of slapping that $100 license-restoration fee on this proud Kenyan illegal alien assistant manager of Conti’s Liquors in Framingham. That restoration fee is for U.S. citizens only.

Howie’s right, though. Democrats don’t have the habit of reading the actual documents they favor. ObamaCare, Dreams of Barack’s Father (Wm. Ayers, author), I, Zeituni—no one actually reads them. They just feel them. You provide the abuse, we provide the tears. It’s a win-win.

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And Speaking of Auntie

She wasn’t done:

“President Obama, I’m his aunt, I’m the only person on earth allowed to pinch his ears and smack him. Not his father; not his mother; not his wife or brother – he’ll fight with him. But Auntie is a much honored person in African culture.”

I would forgive your massive debts to American generosity and soft-heartedness, Auntie, if you did indeed pinch and smack him. Give him an eye-poke from me.

“I’m not the President’s obligation. I carry my own cross.”

That’s the problem; she hasn’t been carrying her own cross. The taxpayers have, and many are angry that she has been able to live on public assistance for so long, while others who paid into the system are denied those same benefits.

“It’s a great country,” she said. “It’s nice to live here. You can do whatever you want when you live here.”

Despite what’s she’s been given, Zeituni Onyango said flatly that she owes this country nothing in return. “But, it’s given you so much?” Elias asked. “So? It’s a free country under God,” was her terse response.

Okay, so she’s not very smart. I won’t hate on her for that. But if she’s a serial law-breaker, a sponger, an ingrate, and stupid—and she still scammed citizenship from a deluded judge—I can at least hold her in utter contempt.

Which I do: it’s a free country under God. You can do whatever you want.


Ingrate Aunt Zeitunie

Auntie Zeitunie may be an African living in Irish South Boston, but she’s got the concept of chutzpah down like a schnorrer:

[You can watch here.]

“If I come as an immigrant, you have the obligation to make me a citizen.” Those are the words from 58-year-old Zeituni Onyango of Kenya in a recent exclusive interview with WBZ-TV.

Obligation. It is our obligation. We are obliged to make a citizen out of this serial law-breaker.

Zeituni Onyango said she came to the United States in 2000 and had every intention of leaving. Then, however, she says she got deathly ill and was hospitalized. When she recovered, she said she was broke and couldn’t afford to leave.

For two years Onyango said she lived in a homeless shelter, before she was assigned public housing despite thousands of legal residents also awaiting assistance. “I didn’t take any advantage of the system. The system took advantage of me.”

“I didn’t ask for it; they gave it to me. Ask your system. I didn’t create it or vote for it. Go and ask your system,” she said unapologetically.

And she’s right. The system provided her assistance despite her status as an illegal immigrant.

Of course she’s right, and she was right to scam the system (or at least try) if the system was willing to be scammed—but where the hell was her loving nephew while she lay deathly ill and suffered for two years in a homeless shelter? He couldn’t organize a little community assistance for his sainted aunt? How depraved is that?

Onyango hired a top immigration lawyer from Cleveland to help fight her case. We asked how she afforded that lawyer, when she claimed poverty.

“When you believe in Jesus Christ and almighty God, my help comes from heaven,” she responded.

When asked about cutting in line ahead of those who have paid into the system she answered plainly, “I don’t mind. You can take that house. I will be on the street with the homeless.”

“To me America’s dream became America’s worst nightmare,” she said adamantly. “I have been treated like public enemy number one.”

What gall, what insolence. Because we didn’t live up to our obligation to take care of her, the American dream is her nightmare. Her publicly subsidized nightmare. She violated two orders to leave the country, took housing (from others) that wasn’t hers to take, contributed money illegally to her nephew’s campaign—in other words, showed contempt for the laws and sense of fairness of the land that accepted her—and she spits in our face.

She is still living in South Boston public housing, unemployed, and collecting about $700 a month in disability, she says. And now, Zeituni Onlyango is in this country legally.

In May 2010, Onyango’s case went back before the same judge who ordered her out of the country in 2004. This time she was granted asylum in the United States. The ruling said a return to Kenya might put Onyango in danger.

Did her nephew, the President of the United States influence that immigration judge? “No influence at all, from nobody, from nowhere,” Onyango said.

No, of course not.

The disability is a new scam, by the way. She used to have a job (or claimed to), but then this happened:

And as we all know, no one with a disability can be expected to work. How horrid the thought! All disabled people malinger in their subsidized houses and complain about how the system mistreats them, don’t they?

But then she was healed, as if by the divine touch of her negligent nephew! (Note same outfit, same companion carrying same bag—I maintain same day.]

Can’t wait for Part Deux of the interview in which Zeituni says “I am a Yankee fan. The Red Sox suck.” And “If Larry Bird weren’t white, he’d be just another guy.”

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Humor Me

I know I need to get over it and move on, but I’m having a hard time. Pretend you’re a liberal and pity my weakeness.

America ignored its own laws and sense of fairness by granting asylum to a person who had broken our immigration laws twice, by allowing her illegal self to live in subsidized public housing, and by permitting her, in all her illegality, to donate money to a presidential campaign—which is, you guessed it, illegal.

But it was her nephew’s campaign, so I guess that’s okay. Did I mention he won, and is President Obama? No? Oh, sorry.

Well, I wasn’t the only one displeased:

Kenya’s government expressed anger yesterday that an immigration court in Boston granted asylum to President Obama’s aunt after she declared she could be targeted by members of Kenya’s government if she is deported.

Government spokesman Alfred Mutua told the Associated Press that the case of Zeituni Onyango was an embarrassment and said the allegations made against Kenya were false.

“It has become a habit for Kenyans seeking asylum in other countries to lie,’’ Mutua said. “Her case is an embarrassment to this country and President Obama. We are not looking for her. The government does not have any problem with Zeituni Onyango.’’

The judge agreed with Onyango’s assertion that she had been singled out for publicity and, unlike her relatives in Kenya, would be a target. He also outlined “serious interethnic conflict’’ that had consumed Kenya in recent years. She belongs to the minority Luo ethnic group and said she feared for her life if she had to return to Kenya, which is recovering from a postelection crisis in 2007-2008 that led to more than 1,000 deaths and 600,000 people fleeing their homes.

She was single out for publicity because she was a freakin’ illegal! A criminal and a moocher! A repeat offender against this country’s laws!

Temper… temper… 1… 2… 3…

So, fine. Who’s going to be harmed by another formerly illegal immigrant on government assistance? Set another place at the table.

But then I got to thinking (or what passes for thinking inside my heavy-browed head): what about the rest of the president’s African kinfolk? Are they living in fear, constantly on the run, wearing disguises, using assumed names (like Omoeba) to escape certain death?

I had always thought George Obama lived in the hut because he couldn’t afford better (and the charitable contributions from his half-brother kept getting lost in the mail).

But I was wrong.

It turns out George lives in the slums by choice because he is—are you ready?—a community organizer. I [bleep] you not. Obama by name, Obama by vocation.

And not only that, he wrote a book about it!

Homeland is the remarkable memoir of George Obama, President Obama’s Kenyan half brother, who found the inspiration to strive for his goal—to better the lives of his own people—in his elder brother’s example.

George was inspired by his older brother’s example to try to change the lives of his people, the ghetto-dwellers, for the better. Today, George chooses to live in the Nairobi ghetto, where he has set up his own community group and works with others to help the ghetto-dwellers, and especially the slum kids, overcome the challenges surrounding their lives. “My brother has risen to be the leader of the most powerful country in the world. Here in Kenya, my aim is to be a leader amongst the poorest people on earth—those who live in the slums.” George Obama’s story describes the seminal influence Barack had on his future and reveals his own unique struggles with family, tribe, inheritance, and redemption.

That doesn’t sound so bad. Of course, it’s a rather different story from previous ones he’s told, but the Obamas seem to share that trait as well.

In any case, he doesn’t exactly seem to hiding out in a gated community, and I’ve found no news reports of threats to his life or well-being (such as it is).

Maybe that’s because nobody’s read his book—it’s ranked #560,562 at Amazon after nine months on sale. I’ve never heard of the book, and I have an unhealthy obsession with the greater Obama family. How come Simon & Schuster thought enough to publish the book, but were seemingly so ashamed of it not to publicize it? Was it reviewed? Was it squelched? Who cares—the guy is evidently in no danger, but somehow Zeituni would be.

And I just have to get over it.

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Whistling a Different Zeituni

President Obama is solving the illegal alien crisis one alien at a time:

A U.S. immigration court has granted asylum to President Barack Obama’s African aunt, allowing her to stay in the country, her attorneys announced Monday.

The decision was mailed Friday and comes three months after Kenya native Zeituni Onyango, the half-sister of Obama’s late father, testified at a closed hearing in Boston, where she arrived in a wheelchair and two doctors testified in support of her case.

Onyango plans to apply for a work visa and can apply for a green card after she gets it, her attorneys said.

All right, we already have a bit of a problem: she may have arrived at the hearing in a wheelchair, but she left on her own two feet, under her own power.

So, the president’s beloved auntie, who broke the law repeatedly (two visa violations, a work violation, a public housing violation, and a campaign contribution violation—by my count alone), gets to stay in America, work (ha—as if!), and return to the public dole for the rest of her life (she’s only 57). What a country, huh?

As one local columnist is fond of saying, “I don’t want special treatment. Just treat me like an illegal alien.”

President Omoeba (sorry, Obama) says he wasn’t involved. But the pearls say otherwise:

In this July 30, 2009 photo, President Obama’s aunt, Zeituni Onyango, sits outside her South Boston apartment building wearing a dress and pearls the president bought for her.

Why can’t we be more like that nice state, Arizona?


Were You in the Corpse?

No, that’s not some sort of necrophilic come on, it’s how military people talk:

Had Obama said this just one time and corrected it afterward in his remarks, then I’d have bet that some helpful staffer had loaded the Teleprompter with an incorrect phonetic spelling. However, after the first time “corpsemen” came out of his mouth, any speaker with even a passing knowledge of the military would have realized that the word had been mispronounced. After the second one, it should have been obvious. Instead, Obama went for the hat trick.

It’s no biggie, at least not like having an aunt living here illegally (in public housing, no less), having ignored two deportation orders, and who illegally (as a foreign national) contributed to your campaign—especially after you (factually incorrectly) berated the Supreme Court live on national TV when they had no way to respond.

If something like that ever happened, that would be a bigger deal, and would, I’m sure, get great coverage in the mainstream media.

Especially if they thought she was faking (or at least exaggerating) a disability.

And lest I seem cruel and heartless to a poor old lady, let me show you her in a moment of candid, honest, unrehearsed, vulnerability (and… action!)

It’s just a pity she doesn’t have any family to support her, no one who came into some money ($1.4 million) recently, and could see that she lives out her days comfortably and peacefully in a Nairobi condo.

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Whistling a Different Zeituni

And when we get behind closed doors
Then she lets her hair hang down
And she makes me glad that I’m a man
Oh, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors

The illegal alien aunt of President Obama could learn this week whether she can put down roots in Boston – or start packing her bags for a one-way trip back to Kenya.

And, save for U.S. Immigration Court Judge Leonard I. Shapiro, she’ll know before anyone else. Zeituni Polly Onyango has persuaded Shapiro to bar the public from her removal proceeding Thursday morning at the John F. Kennedy Federal Building, though it’s unclear why.

“I assume (Shapiro) thought it would be a three-ring circus. She’s the aunt of the president of the United States – the most famous man in the world,” said Mike Rogers, spokesman for the Ohio law firm defending Onyango, 57, against the Department of Homeland Security.

So, who’s going to be the one to load the president’s auntie on a plane back to Kenya? Hope he likes the cold, because he’ll be transferred to Ice Station Zebra before you can say “George Obama’s shack”.


She’s Dead to Him

Given the proclivities of his father, it’s no wonder President Obama has to ration his exposure to the myriad members of his extended family.

But it’s kind of sad that Auntie Zeituni is persona non grata:

President Barack Obama’s aunt buried her face in her hands and sobbed as she described her anguish over no longer having contact with him and his family after the revelation she had been living illegally for years in the United States in public housing.

Zeituni Onyango told The Associated Press in an exclusive interview that she is troubled that her immigration woes have made her a political liability to her nephew.

Onyango helped care for the president’s half brothers and sister while living with Barack Obama Sr. in Kenya. She moved to the United States in 2000 and applied for asylum in 2002, but her request was rejected and she was ordered deported in 2004.

However, she did not leave the country and continued to live in public housing in Boston. She had been a health care volunteer but not since her status became public. She refused to discuss how she affords to live now or who is paying for her attorney.

Onyango said she previously had no trouble visiting Obama when he was a state senator in Illinois or after he became a U.S. senator, though she declined to discuss details of how often she had contact with Obama and his family.

I’m no fan of the president and no fan of illegal immigrants ignoring deportation orders (much less those staying in public housing), but if a nephew doesn’t have the courage to give his auntie a hug once in a while, he should be led by said auntie around by his ear until he shapes up.

Oh wait, it looks like he already has been:

Yes, Mr. President, we see. Looks like she gave it quite a tug.


The Women of Martha’s Vineyard

Sounds like a Playboy spread, but thankfully not.

One groupie has followed the Obamas to the Vineyard:

Rabble rouser and peacenik Cindy Sheehan is jumping on the Obama vacation bandwagon. The activist, who made headlines when she protested in Crawford, Texas, during former President George W. Bush’s month-long vacation there in 2005, landed on the Vineyard last night to spread her anti-war message to Obama and the media.

Reached by phone from a Boston hotel as she prepped for her trek to the island, Sheehan said it doesn’t matter who’s in the White House – she’s not going anywhere. “First of all, I oppose the policies of the U.S. government in the Middle East. I have since before my son was killed,” said Sheehan, who lost her son in the Iraq war in 2004. “I opposed it when Bush was president and I oppose it now when Obama’s president.”

Quoth the “Peace Mom”:

“We must BE the change we wish to see in our President!” … “The clock does not turn back with a new President. . . We must return all our troops back here immediately. No more waiting will be tolerated. Zero acceptance for keeping them abroad!

“Where’s the change? Did it get lost in all that wonderful changiness we’ve all been swimming in? And what’s up with all this “indefinite detention” stuff anyway? And now we’re starting it within the USA itself? (Well, I guess that is a change.)

I wouldn’t look for this story on the CBS evening news.

Oh, and here’s another woman who will have to crash the party to get anywhere near the Obamas:

She has kept a low profile since her story broke, and some worried it could hurt Barack Obama’s chance to win the White House. But recently, she decided to open up about her life, and famous nephew to me in her first television interview.

Onyango’s immigration lawyer is in Cleveland, and she has come here often from Boston, staying with family.

The 57 year old Kenyan-born aunt of President Barack Obama quickly flashes a smile, when you mention his name. “Actually, it’s phenomenal. I love my nephew and always pray for him,” Onyango says.

She clutches a double strand of costume pearls she said were a gift from her nephew when he visited his family in Kenya in 1987. He also gave her a book: The Constitution of the United States.

Onyango proudly remembers attending the swearing in ceremony with her mother, Sarah Obama, the President’s paternal grandmother in 2005, as Barack became a U.S. senator. Home video shows them both in full African dress at a celebration party shortly afterwards.

She talks about the current controversy over the President Obama’s citizenship. His administration has refused requests to make public his birth certificate, leaving some to question whether he was actually born in Kenya. The issue of where he was born is important because the U.S. constitution requires the president to be a ”natural-born citizen of the United States”.

Onyango calls those rumors “satanic”.

“It’s not true. And it’s not true at all. Barack was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. Ann (Obama’s mother) never stepped foot on Kenyan soil,” Onyango says defiantly.

Okay, I’m inclined to accept the word of an illegal alien living illegally in Boston public housing.

It’s one thing for President Obama to ignore his half brother half a world away in Kenya. It’s quite another for him to give the back of his hand to his loving auntie who (sometimes) lives in Boston, just a puddle jump away from Martha’s Vineyard. One local radio host even implored his listeners to help get Auntie Zeituni to the Vineyard. A listener responded with the use of his idle yacht for door (South Boston) to door (Oak Bluffs) service.

No word yet from the Obamas or the Onyangos.

PS: Is Cleveland especially picturesque this time of year, or did Zeituni make herself scarce from New England at someone’s suggestion (and expense)?

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She’s in Boston, she’s in Cleveland, she’s back in Boston: where’s auntie?

Zeituni Onyango said goodbye to her Cleveland cousins and went back to Boston, where she has been winning court battles that could allow her to stay in America. She is being represented by Cleveland lawyer Margaret Wong.

Many in Boston denounced her for defying deportation and for living in a public-housing complex with a waiting list. The president has said he did not know his aunt was here illegally and that all laws covering her situation should be followed.

Onyango, 56, escaped the attention by taking a train to Cleveland. She moved in with relatives in the city’s African immigrant community. One day in early November, she walked into Wong’s office and asked for a lawyer.

On April 2 in Boston, an immigration judge said Onyango can remain in the country at least until early next year, when she can again make a bid for asylum.

Wong declined to discuss her legal strategy. According to the Boston Globe, Onyango is back in her subsidized apartment in South Boston.

Aunt Zeituni may not make Billy Carter and Roger Clinton look like model citizens—but at least they were citizens!

She’s got money for a lawyer, but she still gets public housing? Who’s on the waiting list, Donald Trump?

And those aren’t the only dollars we’re spending on Zeituni:

A police officer sits in his cruiser Thursday, Oct. 30, 2008, outside the public housing complex in South Boston where Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama’s aunt Zeituni Onyango reportedly lives.

Nice woman, happy she’s here—but if we’re going to take huge craps on our statutes and rules, I’ve got bran muffins at the ready for a few asinine laws myself.


Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-a-Dee-Ay

My oh my Zeituni’s gonna stay.

The court officers couldn’t have assigned me to this case?

President Barack Obama’s aunt will remain in this country until at least next year as she awaits a chance to make her case before an immigration judge in her bid for asylum from her native Kenya.

Zeituni Onyango (zay-TUH’-nee awn-YAHN’-goh) had an initial appearance in U.S. Immigration Court in Boston on Wednesday. At the brief hearing, a judge set her case to be heard Feb. 4, 2010.

Onyango wore a curly red wig to the hearing and declined to comment to reporters as she was led away from court by her attorneys and Federal Protective Service police.

Onyango, 56, first applied for asylum in 2002, but her request was rejected and she was ordered deported in 2004. She did not leave the country and continued to live in public housing in Boston.

Her lawyer, Cleveland immigration attorney Margaret Wong, said in a statement Wednesday that Onyango first applied for asylum “due to violence in Kenya,” but she did not reveal what grounds she has cited in her renewed bid for asylum.

A curly red wig, huh? How’d anyone recognize her?

But what I really want to know is: is she still living in public housing on my dime?


Look, I think it’s fair to say that Auntie Zeituni’s safety back in Kenya would be seriously more at risk today than it was five years ago. I get that. (Though no one seems to worry about poor ol’ George Obama.)

But she defied a court order, and has been living here illegally (and on public assistance) for those five years. Can I have a consequence for that infraction—please?

If we tried in Kenya what she tried here it would be like Midnight Express (The Director’s Cut).


Singing a Different Zeituni

Just kidding—same old Auntie:

When last we saw the destitute relative, she was partying on Inauguration Day despite her fugitive status. The deportation evader is set to have yet another day in immigration court. She’s back at her Boston public housing complex, courtesy of the American taxpayer, preparing for the case.

“The case is unusual in American history because it’s a relative of the president involved in immigration matters,” said Mark Krikorian, executive director of the Washington-based Center for Immigration Studies. “It really does present the White House with an opportunity or a minefield. If they follow through on a decision that she should go home, that would actually raise the president’s credibility enormously on immigration enforcement.”

Onyango declined two requests for interviews in recent days, and told a reporter to stop wasting her time.

“I’m not happy,” Onyango said, bundled up in a parka against the spring chill as she went to pick up her mail.

With help from the Bush administration, Onyango has managed to escape accountability for her prolonged defiance of the law. Her case points up the interminable ways in which deportation fugitives manage to buy time after receiving orders to leave — and create new bites at the judicial apple. If she loses her case, she can appeal directly to Congress for a special relief bill.

You can beef up security on the border, but if a dysfunctional deportation abyss remains in place and if DHS refuses to enforce immigration laws on the interior, it’s more time and money down the drain.

Of course she’s not happy—we’re celebrating spring in Boston with temperatures that barely reach the 30s. Who’s happy?

I do note that the forecast in Nairobi is for highs in the mid-80s.

But then she might have to share George Obama’s dollar a day (week? month?) here…


Rather than her taxpayer-sponsored digs here…


Like the woman who famously declared before the election that if Obama won, she’d never have to worry about paying her mortgage again, Auntie Zeituni has done all right under her nephew.

If she becomes a political liability, however (don’t look to the press for that), she’ll find herself sleeping on George’s sofa (which I doubt he even owns).

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