Least He’s Got a Real Purty Mouth
Maybe no one messes with Joe—but Joe sure makes a lot of messes:
The Obama administration poured cold water Monday on any notion it is giving Israel the green light to attack Iran or that it is reconsidering plans to engage diplomatically with the Islamic republic.
Vice President Joe Biden said in an interview broadcast Sunday that the United States would not stand in the way of Israel in its dealings with Iran’s nuclear ambitions.
But State Department spokesman Ian Kelly rebuffed suggestions from reporters that Biden could be seen as giving the Jewish state a green light to attack Iran, which it views as an existential threat.
Cue TNOYF
In a widely-anticipated move, President Obama has unveiled the latest addition to his growing “czar” entourage. And while Cliff Rathman may be the most controversial, he could also prove the most useful: Rathman is the new Biden Czar.
“It’s something I’ve been considering for a while,” said President Obama. “Actually, since I was 11 years old. It was 1972 and I saw Joe talking on TV and thought, ‘For the love of God, that nattering fool needs a handler.’ It’s just funny that it turned out this way.”
Obama continued.
“Joe has a propensity to…speak off the cuff at times. And while his candor is a blast at cocktail parties, it can prove…troubling while discharging some of the more critical aspects of his vice presidential duties. Like talking to others. I know it might take some getting used to for Joe, but in the end I think all of us will benefit greatly from this terrific new appointment. And by ‘all of us’, I of course mean ‘me’.”
…
The new Biden Czar’s primary duties will include:
Thoroughly prepping the Vice President before every instance of him speaking. To anyone.
Holding press conferences immediately after the Vice President speaks to clarify what he actually meant.
Keeping the Biden taser handy and fully-charged.
And to think we could have had Sarah Palin as Vice President instead of Deliverance Boy.
