Guantanamo West
President Obama always natters on about the status quo being unacceptable, so I’d like to offer him a new and improved status, without a hint of quo.
What to do when we have to close Guantanamo (for reasons that still escape me, but never mind), but no other place can take the jihadi terrorists, thugs, and reprobates growing fat (if not happy) under the Caribbean sun?
As President Barack Obama and congressional leaders point toward the Colorado federal prison as a possible new home for some of the detainees, one big problem is the bed-space crunch.
Supermax’s approximately 480 concrete cells already are jammed with the likes of Oklahoma City bombing co-conspirator Terry Nichols, Atlanta Olympics bomber Eric Rudolph and other notorious domestic criminals. There also are 33 international terrorists, including Sept. 11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui, 1993 World Trade Center bombing mastermind Ramzi Yousef and failed airline shoe bomber Richard Reid.
Only one bed was not filled Thursday at Supermax, U.S. Bureau of Prisons spokeswoman Tracy Billingsley said.
And we can’t have Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and Abu Zubaidah fighting over the last bed.
Thinking outside the box, I’d like to suggest another island prison, now sadly in disuse:
Alcatraz is even derived from an Arabic word for pelican (or sea eagle, according to Wikipedia).
The accomodations are spartan, but superior to any Afghan grotto:
Best of all, if one of the America-hating prisoners should happen to escape and swim to shore, he’d blend right in with the rest of the population—perhaps even make the ballot for Congress!
Martino said,
May 22, 2009 @ 11:36 am
That’s as good an idea as any. Except this one: One by one, take them to ground zero and hover above at about 1,000 feet. Then after an hour of making them breathe a mixture of toxic smoke (derived from burning a Koran soaked in bacon fat) and oxygen, cram some raw pork in their mouths and give them a little nudge out the door.
What? Can’t I have my dreams too?
Posts about Barack Obama as of May 22, 2009 » The Daily Parr said,
May 22, 2009 @ 11:44 am
[…] … involvement of the White House staff — and of Mr. Obama himself. The president supplied Guantanamo West - bloodthirstyliberal.com 05/22/2009 President Obama always natters on about the status quo being […]
Carol said,
May 22, 2009 @ 2:03 pm
I’m liking the Alcatraz plan with two modifications:
First, SF Bay might be too cold for sharks, but perhaps we could provide a good living for a nice pod of orcas to hang out around the island, just as an extra measure of security.
Second, the paint job in the cells has to go. I recall this from my North Carolina days: a report had been published that putting disruptive persons in rooms painted pale pink had a way of calming them. Unfortunately someone at the county mental health or juvie facility didn’t hear the “pale” part so they painted their de-escalation room a shocking pink that would have made Elsa Schiaparelli proud. Needless to say, nothing was de-escalated in that room. So I’m thinking that there has to exist some shade of paint that if you look at it for more than a minute, your eyeballs bleed and your brain leaks out your ears, and that’s the color we should paint these exquisitely tiny rooms.