Oh [Bleep]
Liberal want government out of the bedroom—and a good thing, too—but don’t be surprised to find them in your bathroom:
The NY Times belabors us with the future of toilets, and the technological advances associated therewith (Just wait - the big breakthroughs are happening in Sweden!). Their story ought to come with a NSFB warning (Not Safe for Breakfast), and probably is not the ideal topic for cocktail party banter. However, we are remorselessly committed to being up to speed on the latest in the greening of America, so let’s unload.
That’s the great Tom Maguire from Just One Minute, and we’ll dump the rest of the story there (oh, you pun).
Because the green toilet is nothing compared to white toilet paper, the scourge of our time:
Extra-soft toilet paper is more harmful to the environment than gas-guzzling cars, campaigners claimed yesterday.
An obsession by Americans for the expensive quilted and multi-ply paper means that thousands of trees are being cut down for the U.S. market every year.
More than 98 per cent of toilet paper in the country comes from virgin forests and uses hardly any recycled materials.
Toxic fumes are also released into the atmosphere because of the chemicals used in paper pulp manufacture.
Mr. Whipple, a criminal mastermind? I always suspected he might have some tender beauties locked away in a dungeon somewhere.
Personally, you’ll have to pry the Charmin Ultra Soft out of my cold dead… well, you get the idea.
How many of you would go for this?
“Natural living” advocates unveil their latest planet-saving invention - the reusable toilet wipe.
Surely it’s time global warming believers marked their houses with some sign, a green pentacle or something, as a warning to visitors to enter at their own risk.
I always thought the crescent moon was the universal sign.
Carol said,
February 28, 2009 @ 11:13 am
The hatred greenies bear for humanity never ceases to amaze me. I don’t understand why they haven’t done the decent thing and offed themselves already since being human is so awful. They do not seem to care that things like disposable toilet paper and flush toilets and sewage processing plants have worked wonders for human life, and they want us to revert to earlier, much less sanitary times. I’d like to put one of these bozos in a locked room with a few poor folk from India or China who would doubtless kill for all of our modernity. I’m sure the greens would be thrilled if we would all start riding horses to work (compost!) and to hell with the diseases running down the gutters and into the water supply.
Assholes.
And no warning sign will be needed for “green” homes: the stench will warn you off.
Bloodthirsty Liberal said,
February 28, 2009 @ 11:54 am
Speaking of India…
My wife and I were in India once, and, naturally, both of us got sick. (Didn’t mean I didn’t love India, btw. In the coming nuclear conflagration between India and China, I am so rooting for India.)
Anyway, we were at a market near our hotel when a wave of nausea and, well, something even worse, crashed over me. I knew I couldn’t make it back to our room, so I searched for the facilities in the market.
The simple hole in the ground I was expecting. The crowd of Indian men gathered around it waiting their turn I was not. (Stalls? We don’t need no stinkin’ stalls!) It’s amazing the control the mind can exert over body—I made it back to the hotel just fine. All I needed was the image of the black hole of Jaipur to inspire me.
Too much information?
Carol said,
February 28, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
Little bit, but thanks for sharing.
Joe O'Neill said,
February 28, 2009 @ 11:39 pm
I live on a farm in africa and we have our own waste disposal with a septic tank and french drain .For the nearly thirty years that we have lived here we have had to use single ply tissue.Whenever I stay in a hotel and use that wonderful soft treble thick paper I realize that this is more luxury than a chaffeur driven Rolls Royce.