Stop it God, You’re Killing Me!
Barack Obama raised over $600 million dollars from foreign sources, Disney characters, and outright credit card fraud, while John McCain could barely sell enough brownies to cover his antacid costs—and Sarah Palin can only wash so many cars.
Oh, my sides! Almighty, you’re one twisted sumbitch:
Why would they want to audit Obama? The biggest fundraising operation in political history, infused with hundreds of millions of dollars from contributors whose names the campaign refuses to reveal, dependent upon a donation mechanism whose security measures were suspiciously and inexplicably disabled, and accused by reputable publications of having looked the other way at fraudulent donations that would have been detected immediately with cursory oversight.
Aside from that, I mean, why would they want to audit him?
The punchline? It’s because he’s rolling in dough that they’re less inclined to check him out.
Obama is expected to escape that level of scrutiny mostly because he declined an $84 million public grant for his campaign that automatically triggers an audit and because the sheer volume of cash he raised and spent minimizes the significance of his errors. Another factor: The FEC, which would have to vote to launch an audit, is prone to deadlocking on issues that inordinately impact one party or the other – like approving a messy and high-profile probe of a sitting president.
Barack Obama is so overdrawn at the karma bank, his eventual fall may leave a huge crater and kill off large land mammals.