Bloodthirsty Liberal

Yes, The New Yorker:

Dear Michelle Malkin,
I’m a staff writer at the New Yorker, and I’m eager to write a profile of you for the magazine. I’ve been reading and watching with interest your commentary on the election, and — particularly with McCain rising — I think this could be a great time to look at your work and career and influence. I’d hope to come and spend some time talking with you, and watching you do what you do. Is there a number at which I could reach you to talk about this further?

…

Looking forward to speaking with you,
Rebecca Mead

Dear Michelle Malkin,
I am the editor of The New Yorker magazine, and I believe that you have
received some sort of contact from our office, but I just wanted to assure
you that our desire to write about you is serious and genuine.

…

Best regards,
David Remnick

Dear Mr. Remnick,
Again, thank you for your reassurance that your magazine’s “desire to write about” my work “is serious and genuine.” I have no doubt that your writer is serious and that your interest in printing some sort of profile for your audience is genuine.
The question is: Toward what end?
No disrespect to you and your august publication (of which my beloved in-laws are longtime subscribers), but I have neither the time nor inclination to sit down with your staff Jane Goodall and serve as an anthropological specimen for The New Yorker’s readership. If I want to play ape for amusement, I’ll do it for my kids.
Best,
Michelle

Oh! Badda-boom, badda-bing!

To be fair, the mildness of the inquiry doesn’t exactly warrant such an upside-the-head response—but that only makes it all the more delicious. And you know she’s right. Such publications as The New Yorker (yes, The New Yorker) never engage conservative ideas on their merits, but only as specimens of abnormal psychology. It would never occur to them that Michelle might not only be right, but that she (and others) could arrive at their positions after long consideration and deliberation—some of us after lifetimes on the other side!

It would also probably never occur to them that anyone would turn down a profile in The New Yorker (yes, The New Yorker). Can we extend International Women’s Day for one more day, just for Michelle?