Bloodthirsty Liberal

It’s a given that Zimbabwe’s behavior will be criminal and deranged, but exactly how the criminality and derangement expresses itself is endlessly fascinating:

Investigators for the world’s diamond control body say Zimbabwe should be suspended because its security forces are raping women, killing illegal miners, and smuggling gems out of a diamond field in the troubled country’s east.

Human rights groups have made similar accusations, but the charges carry particular weight coming from Kimberley Process investigators who visited Zimbabwe in June and July. Their recommendations are in a confidential report the Associated Press obtained yesterday.

Zimbabwean authorities have repeatedly denied such charges, including in statements to Kimberley Process investigators and officials. The investigators said that they found evidence contradicting the official account and that information provided by Zimbabwean authorities “was false, and likely intentionally so.’’

…

The Kimberley Process was established in 2002 in an attempt to stem the flow of “blood diamonds’’ - gems sold to fund fighting across Africa. Participants must certify the origins of the diamonds being traded. Suspension could result in buyers shunning Zimbabwe’s diamonds.

What does Robert Mugabe care if Africans are slaughtering each other? For once, he’s not the one doing the slaughtering.

But hey, he’s not all bad. Even a blind, rabid hyena finds a rotting, stinking corpse once in a while:

“We are sick and tired of the old model, where China comes to Africa and extracts raw materials and goes back to China,” Arthur Mutambara told Reuters in an interview on Friday. “Now we are not interested in that.”

China is one of the few countries close to the long-embattled Zimbabwe government, but that did not deter Mutambara from challenging Beijing to do more to help development.

“We are not going to produce raw materials in Zimbabwe for China. China will come on our terms as partners,” he said during a trip to China to attend the World Economic Forum in the northeastern Chinese port city of Dalian.

I love the tough talk, but I would caution him against too cozy a partnership. The Mafia has partnerships, too, but the deals are rarely equitable.

We’ve been pretty harsh on Robert Mugabe over the years, but I wonder if we haven’t been overly censorious. Oh, sure he expropriated property, crushed rivals, ignored civil liberties and human rights, caused an epidemic, and took a once-wealthy African nation to the doorstep of penury—then blithely stepped across and squatted there.

But the dude is funny, you have to give him that:

Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has branded a top US envoy “an idiot” with a condescending attitude.

He said that Johnnie Carson, US assistant secretary of state for African affairs, wanted to dictate what Zimbabwe could and could not do.

…

“You would not speak to an idiot of that nature,” he said. “I was very angry with him, and he thinks he could dictate to us what to do and what not to do.”

Mr Mugabe pointed out that the Southern African Development Community (SADC) supported the unity government.

“We have the whole of SADC working with us, and you have the likes of little fellows like Carson, you see, wanting to say: ‘You do this, you do that.’

“Who is he?

“I hope he was not speaking for Obama. I told him he was a shame, a great shame, being an African American.”

A discredit to his race?

And that’s no the only African American diplomat Mugabe has taken a dislike to:

Mr Mugabe was also not fond of Mr Carson’s predecessor, Jendayi Frazer, who is also black.

In May last year he described her as “a little American girl trotting around the globe like a prostitute” after she suggested that the then-opposition Movement for Democratic Change had won the disputed presidential election.

Why can’t we get a president like that? I mean, we have one who expropriated property, crushed rivals, etc.—but he couldn’t describe a diplomat as a “girl trotting around the globe like a prostitute” if it was written on his teleprompter.

…

And this is Zimbabwe under Mugabe:

Any questions?

The appalling way Robert Mugabe treats political dissidents was revealed today after secretly filmed images of a Zimbabwean jails was released.

The shocking pictures show horrifying scenes of starving inmates too weak to stand and eating miniscule rations as if they can barely bring food to their mouths.

…

In other scenes, emaciated prisoners, who appear to be wasting away because of vitamin deficiencies, are shown on mats in cells furnished with only blankets and the thin mattresses in cramped cells.

Producer Godknows Nare, who spent four months training insiders to capture the footage, said prison menus have been reduced to daily bowls of corn porridge.

Human rights activists and former prisoners have spoken of horrifying conditions in the country’s jails, but until now there has been little firsthand evidence available.

Okay, human rights activists, if you can spare a moment from demonizing Israel or hyperventilating over Darfur (one of which deserves it, one of which doesn’t—take your pick), how about going after one of the darlings of the left (of yesteryear, at any rate)?

Maybe Rhodesia was ruled by the “white devil”; but how is Zimbabwe any different, except for the color? The film is called Hell Hole, after all.

Isn’t that one of those modern European films, like Bread & Chocolate?

No, it’s African—Zimbabwean, to be precise—and it’s not a film:

Zimbabwe is revaluing its dollar again, removing twelve zeros from the currency with immediate effect.

The country’s central bank is introducing seven new notes in an effort to stave off economic collapse.

The country is in the grip of world-record hyperinflation. The most recent estimate in July 2008 put it at 231m%.

Only last month, a Z$100 trillion note was introduced and the government moved to allow people to use foreign currencies alongside Zimbabwe’s dollar.

The announcement will see Z$1 trillion reduced to Z$1.

Hey, why don’t we try that here? Put a dollar toward economic stimulus, and call it a trillion?

Anyhow, that’s the inflation part—how ’bout the cholera?

Okay, if you really want to know:

More than 60,000 people in Zimbabwe have now been infected by cholera, the World Health Organization (WHO) says.

This figure had been described by the UN’s health agency and other agencies as being the “worst case scenario” in the epidemic which broke out in August.

Cholera has now claimed the lives of more than 3,000 people in Zimbabwe.

The epidemic of the disease, which broke out in August 2008, has been fuelled by the collapse of Zimbabwe’s water, sanitation and health systems.

This is one example of what happens when you leave dangerous dictators in charge of countries. As long as you’re all okay with that.

It turns my stomach, but then that might be something I drank.

I know I got uncharacteristically weepy with you the other day about the wretched and inhumane conditions in which the people of Zimbabwe are sentenced to live (but mostly die). Moments of empathy happen in the life of even the most cynical, snarky blogger. Remember, the suffix “-pathy” means disease. I hope you will take pity on me.

Because the old BTL is back—with yuks and chortles aplenty over the incredible heartlessness and cruelty a corrupt, diseased leadership can inflict on its people.

Stop me if you’ve heard this before:

One of Zimbabwe’s top officials blamed his country’s spreading cholera outbreak on what he calls “a genocidal onslaught” by Zimbabwe’s former colonial ruler — Britain.

“Cholera is a calculated, racist attack on Zimbabwe by the unrepentant former colonial power, which has enlisted support from its American and Western allies so that they can invade the country,” Information Minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu told reporters. Britain ruled the country as a colony until 1965.

…

On Thursday, Mugabe said “there is no cholera in the country.” His spokesman later said that Mugabe was sarcastically ridiculing what he believes are Western designs to invade the country.

Britain’s Africa minister, Mark Malloch-Brown responded by saying, “I don’t know what world he (Mugabe) is living in,” according to the British newspaper The Guardian.

It’s your world and mine, Lord Mallomar—or whatever your name is. If you don’t recognize that, you’re as delusional as Mugabe and his stooges.

Iran “cured” homosexuality by declaring it nonexistent within its borders; why shouldn’t Zimbabwe do the same with cholera? (Not to mention South Africa’s single-handed eradication of HIV as the cause of AIDS.)

Hey, India, still have a problem with leprosy? No you don’t! It’s all in your mind. And, uh, your skin, nerves, lungs, etc. Don’t let the colonial British keep you down.

Oh, btw, Zimbabwe isn’t the only country he finds diseased and poorly governed.

Any guesses which other nation he finds unfit to inhabit his world? (Hint: it’s not Israel, for a change.)

I may have had my little laugh with Zimbabwe’s hyperinflation, its corrupt and thuggish leader, even its cholera outbreak. (If you think my making light of cholera is in bad taste, don’t get me started on ebola.)

But I can’t laugh anymore. I can’t even quote anymore. You’ll have to go read for yourself.

Even Somalians would be forgiven for looking down on Zimbabwe. It’s gone past armpit and butt crack of the world, straight to anal fissure. It’s up to its waist in waste.

I’ll just say that there is a way to change things, if not necessarily improve them, and it involved dragging Mr. Mugabe behind a Ford F-150 through the streets of Harare. That’s the only way they’re going to get him out of there; no amount of tut-tutting from the “international community” is going to do it.

I know what you’re going to say: that I really have to stop this unseemly fascination with Zimbabwe’s utter misery. It’s not good for me, not good for you, I really have to move on.

I will, I promise—tomorrow:

Cash-strapped Zimbabwe revealed plans Saturday to circulate $200 million notes, just days after introducing a $100 million bill, Finance Minister Samuel Mumbengegwi said.

After the $100 million note began circulating on Thursday, the price of a loaf of bread soared from 2 million to 35 million Zimbabwean dollars.

Amid allegations of illegal foreign currency trading, the government also fired top executives at four major banks Thursday, according to The Herald, a state-owned newspaper.

Many anxious residents of the nation’s capital, Harare, have been sleeping outside banks, waiting for them to open so they can make withdrawals before the institutions run out of cash. Watch how Zimbabwe’s children are suffering »

The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe had capped maximum daily withdrawals at 500,000 Zimbabwean dollars: about 25 U.S. cents, or about a quarter of Thursday’s price of a loaf of bread.

Last week, restrictions on cash withdrawals — due to severe money shortages — triggered riots.

This is called—pay attention now, class—”reprimitivization”. When a civil society breaks down completely, and man is thrown back into a state of nature, and life is nasty, brutish, and short (such small portions!).

But it’s like Halley’s Comet or a solar eclipse: how often do you get a chance to see it?

At least our curiosity has its analytical side: CNN has been stuck on 231,000,000% inflation for some time now. But inflation is anything but steady—so where is it really?

Here:

Zimbabwe is the first country in the 21st century to hyperinflate. In February 2007, Zimbabwe’s inflation rate topped 50% per month, the minimum rate required to qualify as a hyperinflation (50% per month is equal to a 12,875% per year). Since then, inflation has soared.

The last official inflation data were released for July and are hopelessly outdated. The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe has been even less forthcoming with money supply data: the most recent money supply figures are ancient history—January 2008.

Absent current official money supply and inflation data, it is difficult to quantify the depth and breadth of the still-growing crisis in Zimbabwe. To overcome this problem, Cato Senior Fellow Steve Hanke has developed the Hanke Hyperinflation Index for Zimbabwe (HHIZ). This new metric is derived from market-based price data and is presented in the accompanying table for the January 2007 to present period. As of 14 November 2008, Zimbabwe’s annual inflation rate was 89.7 Sextillion percent.

Let’s see: that’s 89,700,000,000,000,000,000,000%—as of three weeks ago! It might be in the octillions by now. (Go for googol, Zimbabwe!) Cholera is about all anyone there can afford.

Okay, okay, I’ll stop. I admit I have a problem—nothing like Zimbabwe’s, but still a problem.

We’ve been following the Zimbabwe cholera outbreak (not too closely, you understand), and we’re pleased others are noticing—even if we don’t agree with their prescription:

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has branded the cholera crisis in Zimbabwe “an international emergency” and called on the world community to confront President Robert Mugabe, leader of the central African nation.

“This is now an international rather than a national emergency,” Brown said in a statement Saturday. “International because disease crosses borders. International because the systems of government in Zimbabwe are now broken. There is no state capable or willing of protecting its people.”

Earlier this week the government of Zimbabwe, which already suffers from severe economic problems and political instability, declared a national emergency following the outbreak, which has so far killed more than 600 people.

…

Brown called on the international community to tell Mugabe “enough is enough,” and suggested that the United Nations Security Council meet to discuss the issue.

He added that the most pressing issue was to ensure that testing and rehydration equipment and packs reach the right people, as well as for aid agencies to set up a organizational structure in the state capital Harare to confront the disease.

“The people of Zimbabwe voted for a better future. It is our duty to support that aspiration,” Brown added.

Oh yeah, the “international community” will get right on it. After they solve that little difficulty between the Hutus and the Tutsis.

This sort of running around like a chicken with its head cut off serves no purpose. After the tsunami, the UN and the rest of the international community could barely be bothered to get up from their peach melba to help, while the US armed forces had boots on the soggy ground within hours.

Air-drop a crate of chlorination tablets and they’ll be fine. Add a few M-16s and flame-throwers and they’ll be even better.

Let’s get the bad news out of the way: cholera. Pretty bad, you’ll have to admit, when your water is contaminated with Vibrio cholerae.

But don’t bum—the good news is that they don’t have any water to begin with.

Problem solved!

Much of the Zimbabwe capital, Harare, is without water, state media reports, at a time of a cholera outbreak.

Water was cut because of a shortage of purification chemicals, The Herald newspaper quotes water authority officials as saying.

At least 425 people have died in recent months from cholera - a disease spread by contaminated water.

Health Minister David Parirenyatwa said people should stop shaking hands to prevent the disease spreading.

“I want to stress the issue of shaking hands. Although it’s part of our tradition to shake hands, it’s high time people stopped shaking hands,” he told The Herald.

Don’t they all hate each other? Who’s shaking hands?

Anyhow, we certainly pray that Hope and Change come to Zimbabwe:

Robert Mugabe owes his position and his life to his armed forces, which have not only kept the Zimbabwean dictator safe from overthrow but also suppressed his opposition. They’ve remained loyal so far, but that may soon change. The rank and file now find life just as hard as the rest of their countrymen:

Restrictions on the amount of cash that can be withdrawn from the country’s banks amid an economic crisis and hyperinflation mean that soldiers, like the rest of the population, can only take out the equivalent of 50 pence a day - enough to buy a single banana.

Fourteen soldiers were arrested this week after scores went on the rampage in the capital Harare and the middle class suburb of Braeside, attacking foreign currency dealers with batons.

Inflation being what it is, 50p soon won’t even buy a banana peel. But maybe half a moist towelette would be affordable.

So goes cholera:

Cholera-related deaths and new cases continued to spike in recent days in Zimbabwe, where health and sanitation services have been deteriorating amid widespread political turmoil.

Over the last four days, the number of cholera deaths in the country increased from 294 to 313 and the number of cases has increased from 6,072 to 7,283, the U.N. Office for the Coordination for Humanitarian Affairs said on Monday. The numbers have been reported from August till now.

Health officials say the water-borne disease is spreading fast because of the poor sanitation or contaminated water, which Zimbabweans are using for drinking and to prepare food.

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon issued a statement on Tuesday saying he is “distressed over the “collapse of health, sanitation and education services, and the consequent rapidly escalating cholera outbreak.”

He’s distressed??? Think about the guy waiting to use the only port-a-potty in a refugee camp.

I’ve already worn out the old line that Zimbabwe has gone from the bread basket of Africa to its basket case.

How about from Horn of Plenty to Horn of Africa (i.e. Somalia, Eritrea, Ethiopia)? It’s about as lawless and destitute (except for the pirates).