Send Us Your Favorite Sequester Recipes!

I’ve stocked up on powdered milk and beef jerky. Hope you all have plenty of double-A batteries and seasoned firewood.

Here’s an old family favorite recipe for troubled times.


Strip, gather, or otherwise accumulate five pounds of tree bark (oak is preferred, though ash is fine—birch for those on a diet)

Simmer for two hours in three gallons of snow melt (scrape off top layer of snow for clean stuff)

Garnish with poison ivy. Serves four.

With armageddon imminent, let’s swap recipes! Tomorrow, I’ll post my favorite for squirrel samosas.


  1. Bloodthirsty Liberal said,

    February 27, 2013 @ 3:34 pm

    My favorite sequester recipe is Cooked Goose.

    Drive along Storrow Drive, near BU and wait (about a minute) for a gaggle of geese to come waddling into traffic. Using a boom box and an old-fashioned cd, blare Obama speeches at them. At this point, they will either be stunned into submission, like the Republicans, and lay their heads on the pavement , or they will run away. If they plop down on the pavement, behead them with your hunting knife. If they run, kill one, or several, with your automatic weapon. Ten or fifteen shots should do it. But always have a second clip ready, just in case.

    Pluck and gut and prepare as you would squirrel stew.

    - Aggie

  2. Bloodthirsty Liberal said,

    February 27, 2013 @ 5:19 pm

    Very good, Aggie!

    Reminds me of my old family recipe for Dead Duck.

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