National Damn Fool’s Hawaiian Vacation

The thermometer outside my kitchen window showed below zero this morning (Fahrenheit, you metric system Communists—a man’s temperature).

So, I hope the Obama’s don’t mind if I tag along, at least vicariously, on their Hawaiian vacation.

Wave! Wave, everybody! I think I see Sasha on the beach. Or is it Malia?

Let’s go in for a closer look:

Oops. No closer than this, I suppose.

I guess we’ll have to rely on publicly available PR.

Step from a secure entry and motor court into beachfront luxury that whispers old Hawaii, yet offers all of the latest amenities and technologies of a modern masterpiece.

The center courtyard features a lagoon-style pool pavilion including tropical waterfalls and a lavish island spa. The ocean lanai and garden lanai showcase ornate landscaping and stunning views. Expansive living quarters command attention amid the artisan touch of etched windows, stained glass, natural stone tiling and African mahogany carvings.

Wake to spectacular Kailua Beach sunrises from the master suite and bath which features a soothing therapy tub. The most up-to-date technologies include: CAT 5 cabling, telephone, cable TV, and wireless high speed internet. Central air conditioning, a zoned alarm system and multiple zone cameras provide a sophisticated level of comfort and security.

And don’t forget the autopen!

President Barack Obama has signed into law a bill to avert the fiscal cliff, a day after the House and Senate approved the much-debated legislation.

Obama, who returned to his family vacation in Hawaii after Tuesday’s House vote, signed the bill via autopen on Wednesday.

This is the so-called Plantation Estate. Given the unfortunate resonance of that name (not that Hawaii had that kind of plantation) and the president’s personal story, I would have thought he’d prefer the Balinese Estate.

But what does he care? His snot doesn’t freeze when he goes outside to get the paper. It’s that cold here.

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