Where ROTC Goes, BDSM Soon Follows

It’s a Harvard thing; we wouldn’t understand:

Call it Fifty Shades of Crimson, if you will.

The august flagship of the Ivy League, Harvard University, approved Friday a student group devoted to kinky sex called Harvard College Munch, a university spokesman said.

The group promotes “a positive and accurate understanding of alternative sexualities and kink on campus, as well as to create a space where college-age adults may reach out to their peers and feel accepted in their own sexuality,” according to the school website.

The 30-student club acknowledges that kink is often associated with BDSM — bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism — but the group doesn’t seek to define “kink” and accepts “students with any kinky interest,” the club’s constitution says.

They have a constitution? What do they call its preamble, foreplay?

All I know is that if one of these pervs tries to “reach out” to me next time I cross Harvard (barn) Yard, he (and maybe even she, if one can tell the difference) will get a punch in the nose. Which should fit right in with their constitution, come to think of it.

By the way, doesn’t the reporter seem more than adequately informed about the whole subject? Hmm.

But one mustn’t judge. It’s none of my business what goes on behind the doors of the unfortunately named Pennypacker Hall. Besides, if the 30 students of Harvard College Munch (it’s nice, but probably not necessary to have an even number) are anything like their Occupy Harvard cousins, they’re all bodice and no whip.

The group doesn’t tolerate traumatic abuse or assault, however, and has formed a safety team to direct victims toward help, another group member told the paper.

See what I mean? The pitched tents that littered the Yard last year were empty more often than not. When Elizabeth Warren claimed to be the “intellectual foundation” of the Occupy movement—empty, juvenile, and narcissistic as it was—she wasn’t lying. First time, I guess.

PS: It’s true about ROTC. After a 40-year ban, ROTC returned to Harvard only two-plus months before BDSM was officially recognized on campus. While the cadets are out on a five-mile run at dawn… [shudder] well, I don’t really want to think about what (or whom or how) the Munchies are doing at that hour.

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