Archive for October, 2007

Buddhists Unclear of the Concept

How’d this go last time?

More than 100 Buddhist monks marched peacefully Wednesday in a northern Myanmar town noted for its defiance of the country’s military rulers, the first large protest since the junta violently crushed a wave anti-government demonstrations.

“Our demands are for lower commodity prices, national reconciliation and immediate release of (pro-democracy leader) Aung San Suu Kyi and all the political prisoners,” said the monk, who was not identified by name.

Lower commodity prices? No blood for pork bellies!

Meanwhile, not far away:

Tibetans trying to cross a mountain pass to exile in Nepal were fired upon by Chinese border police, an activist group said Wednesday.

A group of more than 30 Tibetans — including Buddhist monks, nuns and two children — were trying to cross into Nepal on Oct. 18 when they were fired upon by China’s People’s Armed Police, the Washington-based International Campaign for Tibet said, quoting several members of the group who reached Katmandu in Nepal.

It said there were no reported injuries or fatalities, but that several members of the group, including three monks, were taken into custody.

Well, duh!

Word to the wise, fellas, I know the Burmese and Chinese thugs aren’t as deep as y’all, but they’re a lot better armed.

And our local schools are teaching yoga to our kids. How to handle a firearm would be a lot more useful, and probably make them smarter.


Pervs in Lockup

Hey, let ‘em out as far as I’m concerned. If you think I’m going to leave my kids’ safety up to others (not least the government), you’re out of your freakin’ mind.

Scores of sex offenders in Anderson, South Carolina, will be corralled for Halloween tonight in a move authorities say is needed to keep kids safe as they trick or treat.

The same rules should apply tonight as apply every other night: you come near my kid, I kill you. Otherwise, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em (unfortunate choice of words).


You’re Knocked—er, Nicked

Where would you put the cuffs?

An IDF soldier fled an interrogation room by exposing her breasts to a stunned officer.

Judging by some of the honeys in the IDF, I expect a huge influx of volunteers for MP duty.


Palestinian Sing-Along

Oh my darlin’,
Oh my darlin’,
Oh my darlin’ judenrein

A new video clip, broadcast numerous times daily since it first appeared on Fatah-controlled TV last week, passionately promises “Mother” that every Israeli city will be “liberated” because its “identity is Arab” and “Palestinian”.

From Jerusalem and Acre, from Haifa and Jericho and Gaza and Ramallah [2X]
From Bethlehem and Jaffa, from Be’er Sheva and Ramla, [2X]
from Nablus to the Galilee, from Tiberias to Hebron [2x]

This is significant not only because it was broadcast on Fatah TV, but because the constant repetition of this clip promising Israel’s destruction comes at the very time that the world is preparing for a peace conference.

Well, you didn’t take the conference seriously, did you? I mean, come on.


God is Great…Man, not so Much

Welcome to Religion Today on Cairo Cable. Today Egyptian Mufti, Ali Gum’a, shares with us his insights into faith and belief:

I support killing [adulterers], but killing them if certain conditions are met. These conditions should not be neglected…. There must be four witnesses to testify against the adulterer. They must testify that they saw them having sex…. This cannot happen unless someone is weary of living and decides to confess.”

Interviewer: “Is a man permitted to have four wives?”

Ali Gum’a: “This is permitted in all religions.”

Interviewer: “No, not in all religions…”

Ali Gum’a: “This is permitted in all religions except Christianity.”

Interviewer: “In Judaism, a man is permitted to have four wives?”

Ali Gum’a: “Of course! Moses has four wives, and so did Abraham…”

Interviewer: “But today, it is not permitted.”

Ali Gum’a: “Today, yesterday…what’s the difference?

“But in Islam, Allah permits us – just like in all religions – to marry several wives, and have things done out in the open.

“For whose benefit is all this? For the benefit of the woman, because a woman who is taken as a mistress remains in the shadows, and loses all her rights. The man does not owe her anything. But since [Allah] permits marrying another wife, she gains respect, status, and rights. Therefore, becoming a second wife reinforces the status of a woman….”

“Social violence is the result of the secularists’ attempt to impose their principles upon society, instead of explaining them. They tried to impose their principles on society, and the result was social violence. The people refuse to deny Allah, and to allow our God to be cursed. The people were brought up on the holy, while the secularists want the profane.”…

Interviewer: “What about Muhammad Atta and Al-Zawahiri…”

Ali Gum’a: “Those operations were all carried out by people brought up in the West….

Interviewer: “But bin Laden and Al-Zawahiri were not brought up in the West.”

Ali Gum’a: “But the one was an engineer, and the other was a doctor. They were brought up on Western methodology, and not on religious methodology…. Even Omar Abd Al-Rahman is the exception that proves the rule. He himself never participated in terrorist acts. Even when his ideology became deviant he did not participate in acts of terrorism.”

Thank you, Muft. You made me laugh.


Inevitable my A**

I’m not saying she won’t be president, but her negatives are going to be so easy to exploit, even her hyena laugh won’t be able to drown them out.

Former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, the Republican front-runner, leads New York Sen. Hillary Clinton by a razor-thin 45 – 43 percent, but voters say 58 – 37 percent that President George W. Bush’s low approval ratings will make it difficult for any Republican to be elected President, according to a Quinnipiac University national poll released today.

Giuliani’s lead reverses a 46 – 43 percent Sen. Clinton lead in an August 15 poll by the independent Quinnipiac University, but Giuliani was up 49 – 40 percent May 3.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama gets 43 percent to Giuliani’s 42 percent. And Arizona Sen. John McCain ties Clinton 44 – 44 percent, wiping out a 47 – 41 percent Clinton lead August 15.

Let’s just agree to call this fluid, with a long way to go. If Romney cleans up in NH and IA, how much of a bounce will he get? Will the other Dems get over their fear of Hillary, and start landing punches? Of Thompson, nothing became his candidacy as his delay in announcing it. Of McCain, let him join a long line of honorable and admirable men who never got a sniff of the Oval Office.

Of John Edwards, no blood for mousse!


What Part of “Trick or Treat” Don’t You Get, Daw?

My son is going as a punk, and my daughter as Halloween itself (combining parts of traditional costumes—witch’s hat, pirate’s eye patch, black cat’s tail, etc.—into one metacostume).

Kids in Burma, however, really get into Halloween.

Myanmar’s military government, already under criticism for abuses, is recruiting children as young as 10 into its armed forces, a U.S. rights group charged in a report released Wednesday.

Government recruiters target children because of “continued army expansion, high desertion rates and a lack of willing volunteers,” the 135-page report by New York-based Human Rights Watch said.

“Military recruiters and civilian brokers receive cash payments and other incentives for each new recruit, even if the recruit clearly violates minimum age or health standards,” it said.

“An apple? We don’t want no stinkin’ apple. Come across with the Milky Ways and Mounds or you’ll be floating face down in the Irrawaddy.”

Ye Htut, deputy director general of Myanmar’s Information Ministry, said the charges were “another example of biased reporting by this organization, which based its report on the baseless accusations and exaggerated lies of insurgent groups on the border.”

Don’t deny it, Ye. Here’s your text: “You got a problem with me? You know where I live. You come see me if you have something to say to me. Don’t issue no damn report. I wipe my a** with your report. [This is him talking, not me, remember.] Kids get three squares and a gun. You got anything better? Damn human rights pussies.”

But reports make us feel better. We won’t actually do anything about it, but reports give us something to feel bad about. Give us that, at least.


Smile When You Say That

Having taken a series of beatings from Steve Emerson, Alan Colmes picks on somebody his own size, a girl:

Colmes accuses Coulter of anti-semitism

Actually, that’s not quite true. He accused her of using classic anti-semitic language, which is his weaselly way of accusing her without technically accusing her.

She … does not care for the insinuation.

Neither does Dennis Prager.


Saudis for Sox

You read right. Allah has the footage of the Red Sox parade yesterday, where in a quick pan of the crowd, next to a “Re-sign Mike Lowell” banner (from your crayon to God’s ears) someone held aloft a Saudi flag.

I s**t you not.

Look, people, even in Boston Saudi Arabia is not popular. But with our “world-class universities” we have a lot of transient students (many of them shipped here from New York and other morally bankrupt climes), so we can’t be responsible for everyone.

You want Red Sox conservative bona fides, read up on Curt Schilling and Mike Timlin. Timlin hunts the way other people watch TV. He even wears camouflage under his uniform (MLB made him trim it so that it doesn’t show while he’s on the mound, the bastards.). Trust me, if Timlin had seen the guy with the Saudi flag, he’d have taken him out with one shot.

And if he had missed, Josh Beckett (described by Colorado Rockies All-Star Todd Helton as a bigger redneck than himself) would not have.

I gua-ron-tee it.


It Gives Me No Joy To Report…

…that Robert Goulet has died:

Robert Goulet, the handsome, big-voiced baritone whose Broadway debut in “Camelot” launched an award-winning stage and recording career, has died. He was 73.

The singer died Tuesday morning in a Los Angeles hospital while awaiting a lung transplant, said Goulet spokesman Norm Johnson.

He had been awaiting a lung transplant at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles after being found last month to have a rare form of pulmonary fibrosis.

Goulet was one of the very few to make the successful transition from talented youth to middle-aged parody (which began when he appeared on the Lucy Show, where I first heard of him) to beloved elder.

Cultural hermit that I am, I never knew that Will Ferrell adopted Goulet’s persona on SNL (I stopped watching after the original cast—that’s not a boast, but a fact).

That’s making it, bro. Ave atque vale.

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Jack Swallow This, Johnny Depp

It’s hard to know whom to root for (or against) in this story. I’m happy either way.

The crew members of a North Korean freighter regained control of their ship from pirates who hijacked the vessel off Somalia, but not without a deadly fight, the U.S. Navy reported Tuesday.

When the battle aboard the Dai Hong Dan was over, two pirates were dead and five were captured, the Navy said.

Three wounded crew members from the cargo ship were being treated aboard the guided-missile destroyer USS James E. Williams.

The captured pirates were being held aboard the North Korean vessel, the Navy said.

The bandits had seized the ship’s bridge, while the crew kept control of the steering gear and engines, the Navy said.

The Koreans moved against the attackers after the Williams — responding to reports of the hijacking — ordered the pirates to give up their weapons, according to the Navy.

Sounds like we may have earned a few points with the commies, for what it’s worth.


Where’s This Guy Been?

This is the President Bush I voted for:

“Congress is not getting it’s work done,” Bush said, flanked by members of the Republican House leadership. “The House of Representatives has wasted valuable time on a constant stream of investigations, and the Senate has wasted valuable time on an endless series of failed votes to pull our troops out of Iraq.”

Bush criticized Congress for not being able to send “a single appropriations bill” to him.

“They haven’t seen a bill they could not solve without shoving a tax hike into it,” he said.

To be fair, he’s approved a fair amount of spending himself—but if this is how he wants to leave office, I say give ‘em hell, George.

Bush also criticized Congress for trying to “hold hostage” funding for troops.

“It would be irresponsible to not give our troops the resources they need to get their job done because Congress was unable to get its job done.”

Hang them, George, and let them twist slowly in the wind.


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